Revelations About the Birds and the Bees
by Ina-chan
Summary: COMPLETE! Unedited lemon version up in mediaminer and aff! Mature version archived here. In which Howl and Sophie finally begin to seriously work on their happy ending. Rating changed for implied naughty bits.
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer:_** "Howl's Moving Castle" and all its characters belong to Diana Wynne Jones. I, on the other hand, own nothing and have absolutely no money. But donations are welcome.

July 29, 2005

**Revelations About the Birds and the Bees… **

_(and other things not mentioned as the aftereffects of "Happily Ever Afters") _

Chapter One

by Ina-chan

It has been a good several months since Sophie successfully broke the contract between Howl and Calcifer. Yes, that infamous act in which a heartless wizard regained his heart and an imprisoned fire demon gained his freedom. At that same time, the annoying Witch of the Waste and her equally annoying fire demon had been extinguished from existence. It was also just as equally important to note that a certain wizard had proposed to a certain 19-year-young woman who was formerly cursed with a 90-year-old woman's shape that they "live happily ever after". (See _**"Howl's Moving Castle,** Chapter 21:In which a contract is concluded before witnesses"_ as recorded by Diana Wynne Jones for further details).

From that time up to the present, it was safe to assume that a good number of things happened. Of course, most of them were accompanied with rather stressful circumstances, so it was also safe to say that the "happily ever after" part hasn't quite sunk in yet. Well, to be fair, several months were not much time to prepare any human being to accommodate these major life changes.

Let us have a quick summary on what happened after Calcifer returned to the castle, shall we?

After everyone finally shut up and attention spans were put in order, Fanny and Sophie's sisters decided that they were divided about the idea of Sophie marrying the infamous Horrible Howl. In the end, they all agreed that they cannot, within their conscience, allow Sophie to continue living in his castle with their current living arrangements (to Sophie's annoyance). It may have worked perfectly fine when Sophie was believed to have been a 90-year-old cleaning lady, but to live there, in an unmarried state, as a ravishing 19-year-young woman… well, that was simply scandalous!

Since Sophie refused to move out, and her family refused to give in, there was already a collection of guests and witnesses present, AND there was the danger of Howl silently slithering out at any moment… a minister was summoned immediately.

It pays to be acquainted with someone so well-connected like Prince Justin.

So before their small collection of family and friends, Sophie Hatter and Howell Jenkins were bound together as husband and wife. It didn't seem to matter to anyone at all that the two had only known each other for only around two months. No one seemed to mind at the time either. While normally, it would probably be horrifying that such an important romantic event for every girl turns into some sort of hurried shot gun wedding… (and mind you, Calcifer and Micheal testified that Howl had successfully escaped quite a number of them), it was probably for the best.

And yes. To be fair, Howl didn't try to slither his way out of this one. It would seem that in the process of returning his heart, Sophie had also irrevocably captured it. The fact of the matter was, whether Howl would actually come around with going through the ceremony on his own volition was another question. Chances were good that Sophie would probably be a 90-year-old woman once again, before Howl would actually get around to asking her to walk the aisle with him.

"Coward," Sophie muttered under her breath, in agreement to the narrator's comments

As to paraphrase a famous quote: "Better now, than never!"

The next couple of days after their marriage were a series of arguments with an occasional fight. Some quite heated to the point that it required both Calcifer and Micheal to temporary flee the castle for their own safety. They ranged from the silliest of things… like sleeping arrangements for example.

Sophie refused to share Howl's filthy room, and Howl was equally determined to not allow Sophie to impose her will on the fate of his beloved spiders. Sophie's cubby hole under the stairs was definitely out of the question. It was somewhat a relief to know that even a man like Howl, who boasts his sense of ill-reputation, still had a sense of discretion when it comes to such matters involving married couples.

In the end, they finally came to the compromise of Sophie agreeing to give sanctuary to the spiders at somewhere else out of sight in castle, and Howl agreeing to allow Sophie to subject their room to a cleaning frenzy. In turn, it lessened the probabilities of Calcifer and Micheal suddenly walking into an interesting situation that can cause great psychological trauma.

The next couple of weeks after their marriage, the looming threat of the kingdoms of High Norland and Strangia declaring war with Ingary persisted. While Prince Justin's return to the royal palace has brought some military stability to the kingdom, the King's royal summons to put his newly appointed Royal Wizard to work on a new military contraption continued on to the point that Howl and Micheal had been working almost non-stop. Howl never admitted it out loud.

Well, not directly that is.

Of course, Howl complained. He complained loudly with great theatrics at every given opportunity about his displeasure at being ungratefully treated like a workhorse. He simply never admitted that his duties as Royal Wizard, and getting re-accustomed to the state of having a heart once again, on top of adjusting to married life and everything else that was happening at the same time were actually taking its toll on him. In fact, it came to the point that even Calcifer did not hide his genuine concern at the sight of the dark shadows under the Wizard's eyes that even Howl's most potent cosmetic spells couldn't conceal.

The next couple months after their marriage, aside from getting used to the idea that they will be spending the rest of their lives together, there was also the fact that they will be spending the rest of their lives dealing with each other's relations. Sophie's family, as cynical as some Fanny, Lettie and Martha were of Horrible Wizard Howl's reputation, had an easier time accepting the union. They knew that if there was one person who had the ability to rehabilitate the infamous Wizard's ways into the straight and narrow path, Sophie would be the one to do it.

Breaking the news to Howl's sister in the other hand, proved to be the real challenge. In due time, Megan was able to accept that her brother's marriage was not some sort of ploy and Sophie was not a poor innocent bystander, unwillingly pulled into her brother's foolishness. Sophie had a hard time adjusting to Megan's eccentricities too.

In fact, both women seemed weary of each other at first. Megan was already suspicious by nature when it comes to things relating to her brother, so she simply couldn't get herself to warm up to Sophie right away. Not that Sophie blamed her. Anyone would feel apprehensive at the thought of accepting a complete stranger as a member of your family without prior warning. Sophie however, despite the fact that she understood Megan's frustrations toward Howl, found that her sister-in-law's overbearing demeanour tested her own patience as well.

Megan's husband, Gareth Parry, was a whole lot friendlier with accepting Sophie as family. However, that didn't remove the obvious unspoken animosity underneath the forced civility between Megan's husband and Howl. As likeable as Gareth was, his relationship with her husband made it somewhat difficult for Sophie to be comfortable around him too.

As for the children, Sophie quickly discovered that her new nephew Neil had both endearing and annoying qualities that all pre-pubescent boys share. She already had a glimpse of it the first time Howl brought her and Michael to Wales, of course. But she never realized how much of a bratty smart aleck the boy really was. The boy could have given Lettie a run for her money back when she was his age. Each visit with the her in-laws left Sophie feeling torn between wanting to be friendly with Neil one moment, and wanting to give him a good spanking the next.

Perhaps, the only saving grace was little Mari, who had taken a great liking to her new Aunt Sophie. Sophie readily admitted that her feelings were mutual. They became fast friends. Sophie even instructed her niece to tie a red handkerchief around the swings in the yard as a signal of whenever Mari wanted to see her Aunt. In return, Sophie was to come and see her right away (whenever Sophie saw their signal from Howl's bedroom window that was).

This crude but effective signal was the main reason why this particular story came into effect. Because one particular afternoon, Sophie looked out of the bedroom window as a habit to find the swing in the yard not only had a red handkerchief wrapped around the chains, but every single inch of the swing set had a red ribbon, a red scarf… anything red tie-able… draped all around it. All at once, Sophie realized that her niece was in dire need.

"Calcifer, I'm going out for a bit," Sophie called out breathlessly as she turned the knob black door down

"Hey! You can't go there on your own! Howl will get mad---" Calcifer yelled back in alarm

"Then don't tell him!" Sophie shot back irritably, "And keep the door open for me!"

Before Calcifer's flames could even flicker a reply, she was already out of the castle and banging away at Rivendell's door. The door burst open, and instantly, a small blur zoomed out and latched itself tightly around Sophie's legs almost knocking her over. Sophie bent down to find a very distraught little girl soaking her skirts with great drops of unhappy tears. She wrapped her arms around the child in great concern, "Mari, sweetie, what's the matter?"

"AUNT SOPHIE! I DON'T WANT TO GO! DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME!" Mari wailed in pure discontent

"Mari! Don't be stubborn and come back over here!" Megan's voice called out angrily from indoors just before making her appearance.

The older woman looked so cross and livid that Sophie instinctively tightened her protective hold on little girl, "Now Megan, what seems to be the problem?"

Megan gaped at her sister-in-law, completely surprised to see Sophie at her door. Something that Megan was not particularly happy with, for that matter. It was bad enough that her brother appeared out of nowhere at any time of the day, expecting her brother's wife to behave the same simply made it worse.

Proper people would appropriately announce their arrival before hand. It was only common courtesy after all!

Nonetheless, Megan composed herself and gave the younger woman a quick look-over from head to toe. Sophie shuffled on her feet uncomfortably at the sudden realization that she was still wearing her normal clothes. She was in a hurry to reach Mari, that she completely forgot that she needed Howl to change her clothes into what was appropriate in Wales. Megan didn't approve of what she called she 'gaudy' costumes that her brother was fond of wearing. For sure, seeing those same type clothes on her sister-in-law, even though they were not flamboyant as her brother's, did not improve Megan's opinion of her brother's wife.

However, the older woman said nothing. She simply eyed her daughter sternly while replying to the younger woman's question, "Gareth and I are due to go on a trip on business for the weekend. Our usual housekeeper is not able to make it, so we are about to drop the children over to their Great Aunt Gwendolyn's house. Now Mari stop bothering your Aunt Sophie, and come along. We're already late as it is!"

"NOOOOOOO!" Mari cried out pathetically as she clutched Sophie as if her life depended on it, "I don't want to go! Nana Gwen's cats don't like me! They bite and scratch and they SMELL! I don't want to go! Don't let them take me, Aunt Sophie."

"Mari!" Megan exclaimed in exasperation as she reached out for the sobbing child

A line furrowed over Sophie's brow. Her heart went out to the distressed little girl. She knew quite well what it felt like to be forced to do things against one's will. At the same time, she didn't want to cross her boundaries. The line was already fragile as it was. But the older woman looked as if she was at the brink of losing her patience with the child as well. Not much good amounted from that either.

"Megan," Sophie began with a gentle smile, "If it's alright with you, I can look after Mari for the weekend. I'll bring her back on---"

"ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION!" Megan yelled in horror, despite herself, to Sophie's annoyance. The older woman took a deep breath to collect herself. She then forced a polite smile on her lips before continuing on.

"Forgive me. I don't wish to offend you. I'm sure the home that you keep is lovely and all, but I simply don't feel comfortable leaving my children in a residence that I have not inspected myself. And as you know, Howell has never invited me to his home. I have no idea where or how he… you… live. Until I am rest assured that my child will be staying at an… appropriate… neighborhood, I simply cannot allow it." She emphasized her point by making a quick expert tug at her daughter, forcing the child into her arms.

The smile froze on Sophie's lips, her temper gnawing at the edge of her patience. At this point, she honestly didn't know which was worse. Howl's biting sarcasm or his sister's sharp tactlessness. While Sophie respected Megan's protectiveness over her children, she still can't help but feel irked at the obvious fact that the other woman still doesn't trust her as family. It would seem that Mari was familiar with this particular tone her mother had and appeared to had succumbed to her inevitable fate. The little girl's protests died down to soft defeated sobs.

Seeing this, Sophie swallowed her pride and attempted to win her sister-in-law once again, "Mari doesn't need to come to my house if it makes you feel better. I can stay with her here over the weekend…"

"Again, thank you for the offer Sophie," Megan interrupted once more, "But I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone with Mari in a house… a neighborhood… that you are not familiar with. And being as young as you are, you can't possibly have a lot of experience with children now, can you?"

Sophie's smile almost faltered as she ground her teeth, biting back a venomous retort. Of course she had experience with children! Fanny, as kind and sweet as she was, was not exactly the image of motherhood. Sophie practically raised her sisters ever since Lettie and Martha were in diapers and stuffed dirt in their mouths. Mari's sniffles were the only thing that held back the contemptuous rejoinder that she would had made. The cheek of this woman!

"Well then, I can talk to Howl about spending the weekend here. I'm sure he wouldn't mind at all. And Mari would appreciate spending some time with her uncle," Sophie stated patiently in a measured tone

"Yes, Mummy! If Uncle Howell comes, I'll behave! I promise! Please Mummy? Please?" Mari jumped in enthusiastically as she gave her mother an affectionate hug

"If Uncle Howell is coming, then I want to stay home too!" Another voice called out from indoors

"Neil, don't you start!" Megan moaned in frustration as she rubbed her temples painfully

"Mum, staying at Nana Gwendolyn's is the pits!" Neil wailed as he appeared by his mother's side, "Mari's not kidding about the cats. She has a hundred of them and they scratch and bite! If we come home frothing in the mouth with rabies and end up dead… are you going to be sorry then?"

"Mummy please? Please? Please? Please? Please Mummy?"

"And did you know that rabies…"

Sophie couldn't help herself and allowed a smile to tug the corners of her lips at the sight of the Megan's flustered expression as her children double tag-teamed her to submission. Still, Sophie couldn't help feeling a bit frightened upon seeing that this particularly annoying method of persuasion that Howl often used to get his way ran naturally within the family bloodline.

"ALRIGHT!" Megan cried out, finally giving in.

Both children cheered in triumph. Sophie caught herself on time before she let out her own joyous cheer. She settled with exchanging a happy grin with Mari as Megan set her daughter on the ground.

"Take your sister and tell your father about the change in plans," Megan instructed sharply at her elder child before turning back to Sophie, "Very well. I trust that you can convince to bring Howell within an hours time? That should be enough time for me to prepare my last minute arrangements for the children over in the weekend..."

'…and enough time for us to continue with the original plan if my good for nothing brother doesn't disappoint by not showing up at all,' Megan seemed to imply silently to the end of her sentence

"That is more than enough," Sophie replied curtly, unable to stop herself as her annoyance came back in full force upon hearing the older woman's tone

"Very well then," Megan sniffed in finality, before turning around to close the door

"See you later Aunt Sophie!" Mari waved at Sophie sweetly before the door closed

With that Sophie took a deep breath, feeling rather pleased with herself. There was a little skip on her gait as she made her way back to the castle door. She was able to help her niece in a dire situation after all. On top of that, she will be spending time in Wales with her niece and nephew without worrying about Megan's overbearing ways. She was actually looking forward to it.

Now, all she had to do was tell Howl…

End of Chapter One

To be Continued…

Author's squawk:

I really have no idea why I decided to start another HMC fic when I haven't finished my first one! But when the muses call, one cannot help but answer! I'm a slave to my muses…

Actually, this one was meant to be a one-shot. But if I kept it as is, it's going to be very long and tedious. (And this one's going to be naughty. .) For that reason, I decided to put cut it in 2 parts. 3 maximum. The naughty bits will start on chapter 2 or 3.

But let me just make it clear… Ina-chan sucks at writing romantic love WAFFy crap. In fact, her attempts with writing romantic love WAFFy crap are usually just plain crap. So Ina-chan promised herself that she will never write a Howl/Sophie romantic love WAFFy crap story. This fic is prime example of broken promises when the muses refuse to listen to your personal requests… it's tame right now. But there is a possibility that this might end up as the 2nd "M" category DWJ fic in FFNET. Eh-heh… heh… We'll see how far my muses will take me.

But mind you, if you're expecting a romantic love WAFFy crap of a story, this is will be very bad attempt at it. As you can see, I'm not a believer that it's going to be all love and romance after the happily-ever-after fairy tale wedding.

"Mechrau", at this point, looks like its going to be a 5-parter. I'm working on Chapter 3 of it as well, so don't worry if you're paranoid about me abandoning it. Anywayz, this fic is probably the closest thing that I can write to a WAFFy Howl/Sophie romance fic. I honestly suck at writing those.

Again, thanks to Piggi for beta-ing.

Comments and criticisms are welcome…

Ja!  
Ina-chan


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer:_** "Howl's Moving Castle" and all its characters belong to Diana Wynne Jones. I, on the other hand, own nothing and have absolutely no money. But donations are welcome.

July 31, 2005

**Revelations About the Birds and the Bees…  
**_(and other things not mentioned as the aftereffects of "Happily Ever Afters")_

Chapter Two  
by Ina-chan

**_"You told my sister what?"_**

Needless to say, Howl was not pleased when his wife told him what she'd promised. Michael had already conveniently snuck to the safety of the flower shop by the time Sophie stepped back into the castle to find a furious Howl. He was standing by the work bench expectantly, his arms crossed over his chest, a scowl marring his handsome features. His hair was still disheveled and there was still the shadow of overnight stubble still on his face, as he waited for her return. Sophie had seen her husband angry before, but somehow, this felt different. His expressive green eyes flashed with such intensity that for a moment, Sophie actually felt frightened. It appeared that Calcifer shared her anxiety.

The fire demon poised from the edge of his hearth silently. His flames were barely flickering as if he had been frozen in the spot. His orange eyes were fixed on Howl with intense concentration. It was almost as if he was trying to anticipate towards something that would happen next. Sophie flinched and braced herself for whatever spiteful words that were sure to spring forth from her husband's mouth. Nonetheless, she prepared herself with exactly what was in her mind regarding his selfishness.

Howl, however, took a deep, calming breath instead. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose as if nursing an impending headache. Calcifer immediately relaxed upon seeing the Wizard's actions, almost as if in relief… though the fire demon kept his silent gaze.

"What in heaven's name made you do that?" Howl growled angrily.

"You would recklessly risk your neck to save your sister from the Witch of the Waste but won't do a simple favour such as babysitting for a weekend?" Sophie retorted incredulously.

"I strongly suggest that you keep that long nose of yours out of other people's business, Miss Nose," Howl rebuked sardonically. "You had no right to rush off to Wales on your own, or volunteer me to do a task without consulting with me, for that matter."

"If I may be allowed to remind you, Mister Hypocrite," Sophie shot back, "I vaguely remember a certain cowardly Wizard volunteering me to lie and conspire against the King to save his own skin without asking for my permission either."

"That's different," Howl snapped back.

"And just how is **_THAT_** different?" Sophie demanded angrily.

"If there's anything I hate more than being pinned to do something I don't want to do is the inconvenience of having decisions made for me without being consulted first," Howl responded in equal fervor, completely ignoring his wife's question

Sophie stared at her husband with an expression as if she was physically slapped across the face upon hearing his words. She felt tears pooling at the corners of her eyes, so she quickly turned away and bowed her head, not wanting for him to see. She swallowed the painful lump forming in her throat before attempting to speak in a shaky voice, "I see. Well then, Mister Jenkins. I promise not to inconvenience you any further."

The nerve of him! If he didn't want people making decisions for him, it would have been better if he'd slithered out of their wedding day, instead of passively going through it after Fanny and Mrs. Fairfax strongly imposed it upon them. She had honestly believed him when he'd proposed that they'd live "happily ever after" together. She was very much willing to stick it out, even if **_HE _**was being impossible. She even went beyond her way to try to get along with his family and do her best to keep Mari happy.

And **_THIS_** was how he was going to react?

The **_ABSOLUTE_** nerve! After the wedding, he never even tried to make an effort to make things easier for her! Well, he was not going to get away with it! And she wasn't about to allow him to slither out and leave a poor, innocent little girl hanging.

"But there's still a sweet little girl over there depending on you! If she ends up with her heart broken because of that loathsome, self-serving, repugnant ego of yours… **_I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!_**"

With that, she spun away furiously, leaving Howl frozen to the spot like an animal caught off guard by a bright light. She made her way up the stairs without looking back, then slammed the door behind her with great satisfaction. She threw herself on their unmade bed and screamed her frustration into one of the pillows. It took a good five minutes of screaming her throat raw and crying her eyes out before she felt her anger ebb away, and her sobs fade into quiet hiccups.

It was only then that she noticed the faint hint of Howl's flowery scent on her pillow that nearly brought her into another round of tears. Instead, she closed her eyes and buried her face in the cushion, trying to will herself to remember the more pleasant moments of being married to her husband… which were ironically, just sleeping or lying with him in bed.

Even after being married all this time, they hadn't really done anything in bed other than that. Sleeping, that is. They'd only gone as far as kissing and touching. For some reason or other, Howl would always stop and pull back before things got too far… which was of course rather ridiculous, since they were already married! Nonetheless, Sophie didn't mind their slow pace at all.

It took some time to get used to sleeping with another body beside her. Now, she found that it was much harder for her to fall asleep during those nights when he was working late on spells with Michael downstairs or in the yard with a new contraption for the King.

There were many pleasant mornings when she woke early to find him curled next to her, looking deceptively noble and innocent in his sleep. She would often reach out to him to brush a stray stand of impossibly yellow hair from his closed eyes. If he didn't stir, she would proceed to place an ear over his chest just to hear his heart beating steadily. It often filled her with wonder that no matter how many times she did it, she found that eventually his heart seemed to adjust its pace to beat in time with her own.

Being married to Howl wasn't entirely as terrible as their frequent fights seemed to indicate. Some time ago, she had told Martha about the insecurities she had been feeling about her marriage. After all, she and Howl had only lived together for only two months before the impromptu wedding. All in all, they really were still strangers.

To which, Martha replied with words wise beyond her years, "Two people may know each other for a lifetime, but it only takes one brief moment to fall in love."

Sophie honestly believed her sister's words. She knew now that she really did love Howl. She loved him with all his faults and annoying quirks! She would like to believe that he felt the same way. Alhough, unlike those times with Lettie and even with Miss Angorian, he was not as vocal about his feelings and lamentations with her unless if he was complaining about something she had done. It also didn't help the fact that aside from refusing to crossing that particular line of intimacy, Howl had yet to directly tell her that he loved her.

Not that they had time for that either…

When they were not busy with arguments or dealing with each other's nosy relations, there was also the added load the King was putting on his Royal Wizards. Any opportunities for romantic trysts were rare and way too far in between. While she never saw herself as the bothersome, clingy wife, it was getting rather frustrating to know that he wouldn't go out on his way to make time for her for an afternoon.

Sophie let out a defeated sigh. She did have a hidden agenda with the babysitting issue. With Megan and her husband gone and Wales being far, far, far away from her own relentless family and the King in Ingary, it was the perfect opportunity. As much as she hated to admit it, she simply wanted to have him to herself, even it were just for brief moments in between sharing him with their niece and nephew. Of course, her husband was either too stupid to realize it or didn't really think much about her.

Then again…

Sophie sighed again as she turned onto her side and clutched her pillow tighter. She knew she was really being selfish. She already knew how much Howl hated dealing with his sister more than he absolutely needed to. It was already asking too much for him to grin and bear it during the formal introductions and obligatory visits they had made to his sister's householdorder for them to get to know Sophie better.

Sophie sighed for the third time as she pulled herself up, and wiped the remnants of her tears with the back of her hand. The children were depending on them to show up, and there wasn't much time. She really had no other choice than to go to him, apologize, and beg for him to go through with it. Her expression soured at the thought, but nonetheless, made her way out of the room and quietly crept downstairs, only to pause as she heard her husband and Calcifer arguing.

"Look, just go spend time with her and your sister's kids. I know how much you hate going back there when you don't really have to," Calcifer fizzed meaningfully, "but I think you need it. It'll make her happy and you can have some time away without having to think of magic. In fact, don't even think about using magic the entire time you're in Wales. You know the idiotic situations you get yourself into when you get too stressed and emotionally strung out. You barely caught yourself just a few moments ago."

Sophie frowned upon hearing that. She knew that her husband was prone to bouts of foolishness now and then. And no doubt, some were due to his emotions getting the better of him. But there was a certain sense of urgency in Calcifer's tone that made her stop where she stood. She quickly remembered the expression on Howl's face earlier when she came in, which was... come to think of it… not that different from how he looked when he flew out angrily after the Witch of the Waste attacked Megan and the children.

"I should have known that you would turn against me as well. You've always favoured her side," Howl shot back angrily.

"At least she has common sense AND she's not afraid to face what's troubling her head on," Calcifer crackled back in the same tone, "I can't say the same for a certain coward who would rather run away with his tail between his legs rather than even attempt to figure out exactly what it is he's running away from."

"What the hell are you talking about?" her husband replied, incomprehension evident in his voice. "I fail to see how this suddenly became my fault!"

"You're hopeless," Calcifer hissed in exasperation before making a sound that indicated that he was leaving his hearth to make his way up the chimney and out of the castle

"HA! Can't say anything else, can you? Look who's running away now?" Howl shouted after the fire demon.

Sophie put a hand over her chest, trying to slow down the hammering of her heart. She made a quick mental note to thank Calcifer in person for standing up for her when he came back. Though she couldn't help but wonder, what exactly Calcifer meant. What did he mean about Howl running away?

"Sod it!" Howl muttered under his breath, cutting her thoughts short as he made his way up the stairs.

Sophie quickly rushed back towards their bedroom, not really wanting him to catch her eavesdropping and waited for him to appear at the door… only to realize that instead of going to their room, Howl had gone straight to the bathroom. Knowing how long it took for her husband to emerge from his bathroom rituals, Sophie ran out in horror and banged on the door, **"HOWL! Megan is expecting us in less than an hour!" **

"Good heavens, Sophie! At least give me a moment's peace while I'm in here!" Howl's muffled voice bellowed irritably

Then again, she didn't really have much to worry about. With Calcifer gone, along with the hot water, Howl re-emerged relatively in his usual manner… only a tad bit grumpier and sulkier… in less than a fraction of his usual time.

Several last minute instructions for Michael later, the couple finally went out the black-knob down entrance, and Sophie found herself facing Rivendell's door once again. Neither husband nor wife talked the entire time. In fact, they didn't even make an attempt to glance at each other. To be honest, Sophie was a little surprised that Howl even decided to go. He could be so unbearably obstinate when he set his mind on something.

Based on Megan's expression when they arrived, Sophie wasn't the only surprised. Though Sophie couldn't help but notice that Megan had an unreadable expression on her face as she looked at her brother as soon as she got over her astonishment. After making a big show of ignoring Gareth, Howl gave his full attention to Mari, who was tugging at his sleeve. Sophie suddenly found herself pulled aside by her sister-in-law. The older woman then gave her last minute instructions about emergency numbers and house rules, occasionally emphasizing several rules by yelling over Sophie's head so that her children or Howl or all of them could hear.

"And make sure that he eats," Megan added in a low voice

"Yes, I'll make sure Neil doesn't sneak any of his vegetables under the table," Sophie replied blandly, desperately trying hard to keep her infuriation from reaching her voice

Megan however, was not as restrained in showing her irritation. In fact, she even glared accusingly at the younger woman with such a familiar and intense scowl that Sophie almost forgot which sibling she was talking to. "I wasn't talking about Neil."

Sophie took an instinctive step backwards at her sister-in-law's venomous snap. A loud honk from Gareth's horseless carriage called for attention, thus Megan turned away from Sophie and kissed her children goodbye. Moments later, they were all on the front yard, the children waving, as Megan and Gareth drove away out of sight.

"Well, I'm off too," Neil announced as he started to run off

But Howl caught the boy by the collar with his free hand before Neil could successfully break away, "And just where do you think you're going?"

"Across the street to Tom's house," Neil replied in annoyance as he struggled to untangle himself from his Uncle's grasp. "Uncle Howell, c'mon, let go!"

"Ah, so you're using me as an alibi so you can go off on your own while your parents are away? I think not," Howl shot back in equal irritation, "I'm not as irresponsible as you think."

"But the game against New Zealand will be on in a few minutes," Neil whined in protest

"Have you finished your home work?" Howl asked, ignoring the boy's complaints

"Uncle Howell! It's a Saturday!" Neil exclaimed in a scandalized tone

"If you finish your school work, I'll consider it," Howl stated uncompromisingly, as he prodded the boy back inside the house, "Until then, you can haul your arse inside and watch the match in **_OUR_** telly."

Neil let out another barrage of loud protests, but complied with his uncle's will. Mari simply sucked on her thumb contentedly, her other hand holding on to her uncle's. Sophie didn't hide her bewilderment as she watched the whole exchange.

Despite of herself, a strange flutter flooded her entire body with warmth, not very different from what she felt when her heart was behaving badly back when she was an old woman. Though this time, it was behaving unsteadily for an entirely different reason.

True that she was quite impressed of how her Howl handled the whole situation. He does make a rather good impersonation of a responsible adult. But for some reason, after seeing the picture of her husband interacting his sister's children with almost paternal grace… she couldn't help but imagine what the picture would be like with their own children.

"Sophie, aren't you coming in?"

Sophie blinked and saw a pair of green eyes studying her with silent interest as he stood by the doorway. The children had already wandered in, and she was the only one left standing outside. All at once, she felt an embarrassed flush of heat rush up her face. She immediately lowered her gaze, unable to meet those eyes all of a sudden, as she hurried after them. "Ah! Y-yes! I'm coming!"

"What were you thinking of?" Howl's low whisper asked curiously when she was near enough.

"Mind your own beeswax," Sophie huffed as she closed the door behind her, also feeling a little too self-conscious to share what she was thinking

"Ah," Howl whispered again in a knowing tone, his warm breath against her ear made Sophie shiver involuntarily, "you don't have to keep those kinds of thoughts from me, Cariad. I'll be more than happy to hear them."

"THAT'S NOT---!" Sophie spun around to face him, completely scandalized at what he was implying.

Only to have her words interrupted as her husband's lips silenced her, his arms going to her waist as he pinned her against the closed door before she could pull away. Before her stunned mind realized what she was doing, her lips were already responding to his kiss on its own. She flung her arms around his neck as her knees buckled under her own weight. What was left of her reason protested indignantly, reminding her of the fact that she and Howl were still supposed to fighting. However, it was quickly snuffed away Howl deepened his kiss, instantly fanning the passionate flame inside her into a full blown fire.

"Uncle Howell! Aunt Sophie! Neil is being mean!" Mari's voice cried out from the family room.

"Snitch!" Neil shot back in the same tone.

"**_UNCLE HOWELL!_**" Mari wailed.

The couple instantly broke apart, their senses creeping back into their fogged minds as both remembered where they were. Howl moaned pathetically and made such a comical show of reluctantly disentangling himself from his wife, that Sophie couldn't help but giggle.

As she let her husband lead her further in the house, her thoughts wondered again at the great enigma that was her husband. As horrible and incorrigibly annoying as he was most of the time, he could turn around and do something like that just as easily. She couldn't help but wonder if he was actually secretly putting a spell on her. Whenever he did that, she completely dismissed whatever it was that they were fighting about in the first place and forgot the million and one reasons of why Howell Jenkins was the worst human being alive in the universe.

"All right, what is the trouble this time?" Howl called out sternly, as he faced the children in mock indignation.

"Neil is being a brat!"

"Who are you to talk?"

Nevertheless, she was thankful that they'd put on a temporary truce for this weekend at least. She was very glad that he had agreed to come as well. Despite the obvious inconveniences, seeing Howl interact with his sister's children was showing her a rather pleasant side of him that he probably wouldn't show in any other situation.

End of Chapter Two  
To be Continued…

* * *

Author's Squawk: 

First off, thank you to Mimea, a great HMC fanfic writer, who has given me the honour of beta-ing this chapter and also pointing out some inconsistencies in the fic. Howl and Sophie actually met on May Day and the story went on until Midsummer's day, making it around two months. Thanks for pointing that out Mimea, and that has been promptly edited.

Anywayz, comments, criticism, bribes and offerings for the muses… click the review button


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer:_** "Howl's Moving Castle" and all its characters belong to Diana Wynne Jones. I, on the other hand, own nothing and have absolutely no money. But donations are welcome.

August 6, 2005

**Revelations About the Birds and the Bees…  
**_(and other things not mentioned as the aftereffects of "Happily Ever Afters")_

**Chapter Three  
**by Ina-chan

Things were going well until half-way through the game when Neil asked Sophie which one was her favourite team… only to reveal that her knowledge of the Welsh national sport was next to nothing. Neil reacted with horror. With utmost, absolute, dramatic, horror that almost rivaled Howl's flare for the theatrics. Thus, the boy took upon educating his unfortunate Aunt about the sport as soon as possible.

Sophie desperately stared at her husband with an expression as if she had been condemned and was about to be executed, but Howl simply flashed his wife one of his dazzling smiles before announcing that he and Mari were going to start supper. All she could do was glower at his retreating figure as Neil subjected her to his passionate "Rugby for Beginners" lesson. If there was one thing that Sophie quickly found out about Howl, it was that when he gets started on something that he felt strongly about, she had better luck trying to stop a speeding train with her bare hands than attempting to dissuade him.

Neil quickly proved that this, too, was a shared family trait. The lesson went on well into dinner until Sophie felt her head was in the brink of exploding. On top of that, the amused look on Howl's face was getting on her nerves. The brute was enjoying watching her suffer!

"Howl, didn't you say that you used to play back in university?" Sophie interrupted, facing her husband innocently. But her eyes was anything but innocent. '_Well, two can play this game! If you refuse to rescue me then you simply have to be dragged in with my misery.'_

Howl raised an eyebrow, as if to say, _'What are you playing at right now?'_ but said aloud, refusing to take the bait, "I did play, though it wasn't as exciting as the wonderful fountain of knowledge Neil is sharing with us."

_'Damn you! Don't you dare use that tactic, you… you… COWARD!'_ Sophie's eyes flashed. "Well out of curiosity, what position did you play? I vaguely remember you saying it some time ago, but I forgot. Now that Neil has kindly explained the player's positions, I can easily visualize it now."

_'Nice try!'_ Howl stared at her lazily through half-open lids. "It certainly doesn't matter, does it? It was quite a while ago..."

_'You're not going to get off the hook that easily!'_ Sophie glared at him, before putting on another blameless expression, "Perhaps I can guess then. Since you neither have cauliflower ears or the physical stature of being a member of the _manly_ forward pack, then that must mean that you were one of the backs. So which one were you called? What was the term again, Neil? Pretty boy…. girlieback… nancy?"

Both children burst out laughing at that. Howl answered her self-satisfied smirk with a graceful grin, as if he were admitting defeat. Sophie glowered at him suspiciously. Howell Jenkins admitting defeat in a verbal joust was simply unheard of!

"Uncle Howell was a Winger," Neil finally answered between giggles. "Mari was too young to go, but I begged Dad to take me to one of Uncle Howell's matches. Mum wasn't too happy about it. When they announced 'Number 14, Howell Jenkins!' there was this group of loud ladies at the front who started screaming wildly. One even took her top off to flash her boobies!"

That brought about a variety of reactions around the dinner table. Sophie's eyes bugged out in surprise, Mari started giggling uncontrollably at the sound of the word 'boobies', and water spurted out of Howl's nose… due to his unfortunate position of being in the middle of drinking a glassful of it.

"Do that again, Uncle Howell!" Mari squealed in delight.

"Dad made me promise to not tell Mum, but she found out about it anyway. She was so mad!" Neil continued on excitedly with his story, completely unaware of the wasp's nest he was stirring. He then turned to his Uncle as if to seek confirmation. "That lady was your friend, right Unc---"

"Neil, finish your vegetables," Howl interrupted as he veered uncomfortably away from the daggers that Sophie was shooting at him, "and that never happened."

"Of course it did," Neil protested indignantly, "you even waved at her and she blew you kisses and called you 'Darl---'"

Howl coughed again, glaring at his nephew, and this time with an obvious signal instructing the boy to shut up.

A crafty expression crossed the boy's face briefly and he made an exaggerated action of ignoring his uncle as he turned to face Sophie once again. "And you know, Aunt Sophie---"

A thump that sounded suspiciously like a foot hitting the bottom of a chair caused Neil to bounce on his seat and instantly stopped the boy on his tracks. The boy glared at his uncle, but said nothing else.

Sophie narrowed her eyes at her husband unsympathetically. Nonetheless, it was more than enough to continue fueling her ire, "So Darling. A Wing! Highly prized for their ability to run very fast… if they're not caught off-guard tying their shoes in the outfield when the ball whizzes by, that was. A most appropriate position for you, I must add."

Mari and Neil burst into even louder peals of laughter, both obviously unaware of Sophie's forced, sardonic smile.

"Luckily, my shoelaces were always tied and I ran towards the right direction," Howl rebutted in a pathetic attempt to lighten the mood, as he stood up with an extended hand to his niece. "Now if you're done laughing in my expense, I believe it's almost your bed time, Mari. Come and get yourself ready for your bath."

"_**NOOOO!**"_ Mari whined in protest, her laughter instantly dying. "It's too early Uncle Howell! I don't want to go to bed yet!"

"After your bath, I'll read you any book you like until you go to sleep," Howl continued on as he carried off the little girl from her chair, but not before giving Sophie a smug look.

Mari instantly perked up at the proposal, "Oooh! Read the one about Goddodin!"

"O'r gorau…" Howl's voice trailed as they disappeared down the hallways.

Neil snorted in annoyance. "Typical. Using Mari as an excuse to get out of washing dishes…"

"He's trying to get out of more than just that," Sophie snorted under her breath. It was just like him to run away. Well, she knew that the story behind this so-called topless mystery girl in Howl's past was going to be another topic she would definitely explore in the near future.

"There's no helping it, I suppose," Neil sighed, almost adult-like, as he stood and gathered the used cutlery and empty plates in front of him. "I'll help you wash the dishes, Aunt Sophie. There's something else that I wanted tell you anyway."

That was what she was afraid of...

However, Sophie gave her nephew a grateful smile. As annoying as Neil could be, he was still much more considerate than his Uncle. Sophie followed him to the kitchen with her own load in hand. On the way as she eyed the various strange tools in Megan's kitchen, she was a silently grateful that Howl offered to cook supper. She wouldn't have known which thingamabob to use or what button to push…

She prepared for a continuation of Neil's marathon rugby monologue, but to her astonishment, Neil fell into quiet contemplation instead. Sophie was about to say something to break the silence when Neil spoke.

"Aunt Sophie…" Neil began shyly, "I'm really glad you married Uncle Howell."

"Eh?" Sophie blinked, completely taken aback by the boy's unexpected declaration.

"Well… Mum, you see…" Neil continued, looking rather embarrassed. "She's been worried all this time. About Uncle Howell, that is."

Sophie frowned. With how Megan had been nagging on and on about her brother, it certainly didn't seem that way. "Is she now?"

"It doesn't seem that way, but Mum and Uncle Howell are really close. Grandma died when Mum and Uncle Howell were really young. Since Grandpa never married, Mum took care of Uncle Howell since they were kids," Neil recounted over the gush of warm water filling up the sink

Sophie's features softened. This was a part of her husband's story that she knew she'd never hear from him, at least not in the near future. She was in the unique position of knowing what it felt like to lose a mother and be the mother to younger siblings. In a strange way, she found herself starting to feel sympathetic towards her sister-in-law.

"Mum always said that Uncle Howell doesn't really do too well with 'changes' when he's on his own. So when Uncle Howell suddenly showed up at the door with you, Mum started worrying more than ever," Neil explained.

"Why would she think that?"

"I don't know. There are family stories and sometimes they say things when they fight…" Neil's voice trailed off as he cocked his head thoughtfully, as if searching his memories. "I once heard that shortly after my Mum and Dad got married… and Mum moved away for the first time, something bad happened to Uncle Howell."

"What happened?" Sophie asked, her nosiness getting the better of her.

Neil shrugged. "I don't know the details. But Tom and I were working on a school project in the library one time when we found an old newspaper article in the microfilm archives by accident. It was a short blurb from my great grandmother's hometown. It said that there was an explosion, and a group of local kids were nearby when it happened. I didn't find out until later, but Uncle Howell was one of them."

Sophie gaped at the boy. "Were people badly hurt?"

Neil nodded. "The other kids weren't hurt badly, but Uncle Howell was in a coma. Grandpa said Uncle Howell wasn't injured at all but the doctors couldn't figure out what happened to him."

Sophie frowned at the revelation. For some reason, Calcifer's words from earlier that morning suddenly blared loudly in her mind.

'_You know the idiotic situations you get yourself into when you get too stressed and emotionally strung out.'_

"Then there was the time before Uncle Howell moved out for good," Neil interrupted her thoughts once again, as he continued on with another story. "Mum and Uncle Howell still fight about it. I put together bits and pieces of the story on my own."

Sophie turned her full attention to her nephew, "What happened?"

"Uncle Howell was working on his final project to get his doctorship-whatever degree when my great grandmother passed away. Uncle Howell was fond of her so he took it very hard. Before she died, she asked Uncle Howell to do something."

"Do you know what it was? What your great grandmother asked him to do?"

"No," Neil shook his head and shrugged. "All I know was that Mum wasn't happy about it. She and Uncle Howell fought a lot when he came home. Back then, Uncle Howell lived in the University dorms during term and he came home on the occasional weekend. That's why we didn't know what was going on until the Dean called to tell Mum that Uncle Howell was very sick in the hospital."

Sophie almost dropped a pot into the soapy sink at the revelation. She had seen her husband sick with a cold before. She knew how much of a big baby and an even bigger pain in the bottom he was with all his attention-seeking antics. Somehow, the realization that Howl was also just a vulnerable human being despite all his power was unnerving. "He was sick? H-how? What?"

Neil chewed his lip, "Mum said it was nerves. With Old Nana Kerrie's death, his school work, and then fighting with Mum all at the same time… it was just too much. Grandpa had bad stomach ulcers too, you know. When he was really stressed out, he got very sick with cramps. He also vomited blood all over the place a couple of times. Mum thinks Uncle Howell probably had the same thing. Only he stopped eating all together so he ended up much sicker. Mum and Dad fought a lot about it because Mum was blaming herself for Uncle Howell's illness."

Sophie had a difficult time believing that. "Why would your Mum think that?"

"Because Mum was too busy fighting with Uncle Howell all the time to notice how sick he was getting," Neil explained with adult-like patience.

Sophie did a double take as her thoughts raced back to Megan's final instruction before she'd left in the afternoon.

"_And make sure he eats…"_

The circumstances were not the same, but Sophie started to feel guilty, nonetheless. She was doing the same thing. That accusing glare on Megan's face when she saw Howl suddenly made sense to Sophie as well. Megan must have recognized that something was wrong with her brother, and Sophie was too wrapped up sulking to recognize it.

Now that Sophie had the hindsight to think about it, she realized that Howl definitely spent a lot more time than usual with his work for the King. Normally, he would find creative ways to run away from work as much as possible. Now, she barely saw him because he was buried in one of the King's projects. She couldn't even recall if Howl stopped to eat the meals she prepared for him. Sophie bit her lip uneasily as a thought occurred to her. Megan was probably thinking along the lines of how lousy a wife Sophie turned out to be and Sophie being too preoccupied with picking on her husband's faults to take good care of him.

"I suppose it's understandable why your Mum dislikes me," Sophie sighed in defeat.

"Mum? No… I don't think so. If Mum didn't like you at all, she wouldn't have allowed you in the house," Neil protested as he scrubbed the last of the dishes. "Especially after that strange woman who appeared out of nowhere, Mum's become even more paranoid of things that have anything to do with Uncle Howell!"

"Is that so?" Sophie blinked absently, remembering the scene from Howl's window the afternoon the Witch of the Waste attempted to spirit away Megan and the children.

"But I'm really glad Uncle Howell married you, Aunt Sophie. Compared to the other ladies Uncle Howell was rumoured with, you're the coolest of the lot," Neil said with genuine enthusiasm.

Sophie blinked, not really understanding what her nephew meant. But based on his tone and the pleased expression on his face, she assumed that being 'cool' was a very good thing. A slight tinge colored her cheeks as she gave the boy a grateful smile.

"And there were those rumours about Uncle Howell's frequent visits to Miss Angorian's flat too! That was just before you came along, Aunt Sophie," Neil exclaimed. "It would have been horrible if Uncle Howell married her instead! I wouldn't be able to show my face in school again if everyone knew my Uncle married the English teacher! Though… come to think of it, it's really a mystery that she disappeared all of a sudden too!"

Despite herself, Sophie couldn't help but make a nervous laugh. She didn't really know how to react to that. She was torn between giving her nephew a big, soapy hug and slapping him silly for reminding her of that horrid creature. Although in all fairness, Neil couldn't have known the real reason as to why Howl was paying so many visits to 'Miss Angorian'. Sophie had misinterpreted Howl's intentions just as easily. Her demeanour darkened quickly as she remembered what happened afterwards… that is, what could have happened if things had gone entirely wrong.

If Sophie hadn't been able to stop the disguised fire demon from killing Calcifer and stealing Howl's heart for its own… if Sophie hadn't been able to break Calcifer and Howl's contract in the nick of time…

Megan really had no idea how close she was to literally losing her brother for real.

"Aunt Sophie? Is there something wrong?" Neil asked worriedly, noting her sudden silence

"N-no. My mind just wandered on its own, that's all," Sophie replied instantly

"Well, would you mind if I left to start on my homework then?" Neil asked as he unplugged the sink and eyed the pile of dried dishes that needed to be put away

"Go ahead, I'll finish up," Sophie offered

"Thanks, Aunt Sophie," Neil replied with a big smile.

Sophie watched her nephew disappear before turning back to the sink to watch the soapy water make little whirlpools while it drained away. That was basically how she felt now. She felt her energy seeping away and she had a pounding headache on top of it. Between Neil's rugby lecture and his stories about his uncle, there was just so much information a person's brain could take.

She also found that she was trapped in one of life's annoying paradoxes. Sophie hoped that by spending more time with her husband and his family, she would get to know him better. And in turn, she expected get closer to him. But the more she found out about her husband, the more it made her feel depressed at the realization that she didn't really know anything about him at all! Worst of all, her mind persistently ran in circles around the number close calls Howl already had. The idea that Howl could have…

She couldn't even finish the thought as the sudden urge to go to him overpowered her. She didn't like what her thoughts were making her feel. With an almost panicked sense of urgency, she left her dishes and half-ran out of the kitchen, to the hallway, up the carpeted stairs, and towards the opened pink door with a pink wooden cat on the front engraved her niece's name.

She found Howl seated in a rocking chair by Mari's bedside, softly reading from a book in that language he spoke that she couldn't understand. Mari was sitting on his lap and curled up against his chest, already sound asleep. From where she stood, Sophie inspected her husband for anything that would indicate ill health. But aside from looking a bit tired and uncharacteristically disheveled, she couldn't see anything that would set off Megan's red flags. Just then, he looked up and saw her. He gave her a small smile before motioning her to stay quiet.

Sophie simply nodded in silent agreement as she stood by the doorway. As she watched her husband lift the little girl and tuck her in bed with utter gentleness, she felt tears welling up in her eyes once again. She quickly stepped out of his line of sight to wipe them off with the back of her sleeve.

"What's wrong?" There was a hint of alarm in Howl's whisper. It was obvious that she wasn't able to hide her tears in time. From the expression on his face, she could tell that he probably assumed it was a continuation of their argument from earlier that afternoon. It was silly, really. She didn't even know why she was crying.

She wanted to reassure him and reply, 'nothing'. But her throat closed up painfully and refused to release her voice. So instead, she shook her head as she held back a rather stubborn sob from escaping her chest. It only made the ache in her throat worse, forcing her to let out an involuntary whimper. She buried her face right in his chest to muffle her sobs and to keep from alarming Neil, who was in his room across the hall. Not knowing what else to do, Howl muttered something Welsh and something probably unpleasant under his breath. He quickly swept Sophie off her feet and carried her away from Mari's doorway.

A short while later, Sophie found herself curled up on her husband's lap and still sniveling on his now uncomfortably wet shirt. Her arms were still clinging round his neck. He simply held her in a silent, warm embrace, waiting for her tears to subside. Since her eyes had been closed all that time, and her face in the crook of his neck, she didn't know where he had taken her. She didn't even care, for that matter.

All she knew was that with him staying like that beside her slowly melted all her bad feelings away. As long as he didn't force her to let go, as long as he allowed her to stay with him like this, she didn't really care about anything else... even if the world ended right then and there.

End of Chapter Three  
To be Continued…

* * *

Author's Squawk: 

AH! Finished one more chapter! I couldn't have done it without inspiration from everyone's words of encouragement and Mimea's beta-ing and reviews! . I'm really very happy about this fic! I think, compared from the other fics I've written, this one is probably has the most "mature" feeling. Yeah… I think this one will gain an edited "M" rating in FFNET for the final chapter (which is extended to chapter 5… ah, promises broken! Damn Muses and their ungodly inspiration!). If I feel like it, possibly an NC-17 in Mediaminer (If AFF has a Howl's Moving Castle section, I might post the unedited version there too! .). Mediaminer finally has a HMC (anime) section… though for some weird reason, the fics loaded up there are yaoi Saiyuki stuff! Very weird!

Anywayz, I really had a lot of fun with this chapter. I unintentionally ended up lengthening my other fic because of the stuff I played around with this. "Mechrau" will definitely be longer than it's originally intended 5 chapters. I will try to finish this fic at least before the end of this week. I have some crap happening next week, then followed by Otakon.

Anyone going to Otakon this year, make sure you check out the Artist Alley. I'm helping out my sister there (they're called "Illusive Rhapsody"). **_Shameless Plug_** They're releasing their first book, which is actually a teaser of their group's upcoming comic book projects. So check them out. I'll be a "Goth Lolita Doll" (my first pathetic attempt on an original design cosplay piece) on Friday. And if my sister finishes her designs on time, I'll be the female half of a Priest/Priestess pair from Ragnarok Online on Saturday. My sister's obsessed with the damn game. I'm only a model. . But I'm looking forward to them costumes. It's the first time I have a costume that has a corset (which I absolutely love!). Of course, I'll be wearing it underneath the costumes, which is a shame because the corsets I own actually look really damn good to wear "outside". Though… there aren't enough occasions for me to go Goth 'cept through cosplaying. Darn!

Anywayz.. babbling! Comments, criticisms, worship offerings to the muses… click the review button please.

Ja!

Ina-chan


	4. Chapter 4

**_Disclaimer:_** "Howl's Moving Castle" and all its characters belong to Diana Wynne Jones, whom I have to add is very much alive. Which I can't cheerfully say the same with Edward Thomas, a dead Welsh poet-dude who penned "And You, Helen" of which a short excerpt I have stolen for story purposes. Another poem reference, "Gododdyn" was written by an even deader Welsh poet-dude by the name of Anerin. I'm very much alive and very much poor, so please don't sue me for stealin'. I only wish to spread some Howl and Sophie lovin'...

September 6, 2005

**Revelations About the Birds and the Bees...  
**_(and other things not mentioned as the aftereffects of "Happily Ever Afters")_

Chapter Four  
by Ina-chan

"Are you all right?"

His quiet murmur was the first thing she heard after her sniffles had subsided. Not yet trusting herself to speak, Sophie simply nodded her head in silent reply.

Howl let out a relieved sigh as he gave her a little squeeze and tucked the crown of her head under his chin. "Good lord, woman! Promise me that you won't ever do that again."

Sophie looked up to apologize, only to stop with a start as she saw him. He was literally a fright! It was as if the blood had completely drained from his face and he looked as if he was going to faint any minute. Sophie instantly struggled out of his grasp in alarm. She maneuvered herself so that she was straddling his lap and looking at him face to face. She brushed his hair out of his eyes then rested her hands loosely on his shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"Seeing women cry usually just annoys the hell out of me." He closed his eyes. His hands cradled the nape of her neck as he rested his forehead against hers. "But when I see you crying, I just fall into a panic. I don't know what to do..."

She didn't know how to react to that. She still hadn't quite found the right way to respond whenever her husband fell into his rare lapses of honesty. He looked utterly miserable that Sophie immediately felt guilty and foolish for suddenly bursting into tears. She bent down, intending to simply plant a chaste peck over his lips in apology.

Her intentions were dissuaded when he gave her a not-so-innocent reply. Before she knew it, she was gasping to catch her breath as her husband kissed the sensitive spots on her neck. Sometime along the way, he managed to partially unbutton her blouse. His exploring fingers simply added to the torturous unfamiliar sensations he was making her feel, forcing a soft moan to escape her lips.

Howl reluctantly pulled his hands away upon hearing the sound, and reached out to kiss another sensitive spot behind her ear. "You have no idea how harder and harder it is to stop, cariad."

"Stop? Wha---?" came Sophie's garbled reply, her mind not really comprehending what he said, as she tried to capture his lips once again for another kiss.

Howl complied before speaking once again. "I'm serious. For one thing, we're not in the privacy of our own home."

Sophie raised her eyebrows at that but said nothing. Since when did her "disreputable" husband become such a prude? She gave him a mischievous smile as she bent down and started kissing the sensitive areas on **_his_** neck. She felt him shiver as she kissed the small spot under his ear. She couldn't help but shiver in excitement as well as she caught a whiff of sandalwood soap. She hadn't noticed it earlier, but then again, she had been noticing and feeling other things. It would seem that she had made him hurry with his bathroom ritual to the point of him forgetting to put on any of his flowery perfume. She hadn't told him yet, but she preferred it when he smelled like this.

"There are children downstairs," Howl warned, but made no attempt whatsoever to stop her.

Sophie paused with that. She wasn't as willing stop teasing him though. She breathed softly to his ear. "Mari's asleep and Neil is busy with his school work."

Howl looked at her in surprise. He looked taken aback, though not displeased, by her boldness. Sophie closed her eyes as he ran his fingers through her hair, then held her breath as she heard him whisper once again in her ear, "The window behind you is wide open."

_**"WHAT?"** _Sophie cried out sharply as she quickly tumbled off him in complete mortification and started to fumble with the buttons of her top.

She made a quick glance behind her, and sure enough, there was an open window. It was overlooking a window from the identical square yellow house across the street. Whether there was someone looking out **_that_** window, she really couldn't tell from the dimness of the evening. She glared at her husband who was still seated, on what she realized was an old, shabby chesterfield. He was trying hard not to laugh aloud, and failing, as he watched her horrified reaction.

Sophie flung herself at him again, only this time, she attempted to pound him with the bottoms of her fists. "You are a horrid, horrid man! I hate you!" She hissed angrily, mindful of the house's other occupants below them. "If you knew the window was open, why didn't you say so from the beginning?"

"I'm just a man, cariad," Howl managed to gasp between chuckles as he raised his arms to shield himself from her attacks, "if my beautiful wife wishes to play with me, who am I to resist?"

"You're impossible!" Sophie growled in exasperation. It was obvious that this was his 'revenge' for their 'duel' at their dinner table. "And to think I was actually worried about you!"

"Worried about me?" Howl echoed as he arched an eyebrow curiously. "About what?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. I've changed my opinion of you," Sophie replied huffily, sitting beside him with a loud thump as she crossed her arms in a sulk. Just when she had hope that her husband was hiding a streak of maturity within him, he turned around and proved her wrong. "You can rot in hell for all I care."

"Is this about what Neil said?" Howl inquired softly as he reached out to tuck a long strand of red gold behind her ear

Sophie simply jutted her chin and ignored him. There was no way he was going to regain her sympathy after what he had just done. She was even starting to feel a little silly for reacting how she did after what Neil told her about his uncle's past. Whatever was she thinking bursting in to tears at the thought of losing Howl?

"It wasn't anything like he said at all," Howl explained patiently, "It was a rugby match. People get drunk and do stupid things."

Sophie frowned again at the realization that her husband was referring to something else. It simply added fuel to her anger as she was suddenly reminded of Neil's revelation at the dinner table. Whatever was left of the sympathy she felt completely evaporated. "I said I don't care anymore!" She snarled again through clenched teeth

A confused expression flashed over Howl's features as he studied his wife. Sophie turned away uncomfortably and kept her expression as stony as possible. She hated it when he stared at her like that. It almost felt as if his green eyes were boring right through her soul and he was reading her thoughts. At the moment, she didn't feel like sharing the real reason why she had gotten so upset. It was just too embarrassing to suddenly burst out crying over something so silly. Not to mention the fact that it would probably make her husband's already over-inflated ego even bigger.

"My, my... Can it be?" Howl stated with his voice laced with amusement, "Mrs. Jenkins, I do believe you're jealous."

Sophie spun around to glare at him again. 'If looks could kill…' She'd already completely pushed all that to the back of her mind because she had been so worried about him. But instead of noticing her concern, he simply saw all this as a jealous fit? The idiot was even looking pleased at the thought that she was jealous! Sophie wanted to bash him on the head with the closest item that she could get her hands on.

The pleased look on Howl's face was getting on her nerves. It was obvious by now that this mysterious ailment that Megan was worried about was a figment of her sister-in-law's anxiety-ridden imagination. He was just as vain and arrogant as a peacock as ever. Any reaction that would feed on his belief that her whole tantrum was jealousy-based would only make him more smug. She wasn't about to let him have that satisfaction. But at the same time, she was not quite ready to share what she was truly feeling either. It would probably just make his ego inflate to gargantuan proportions if he knew compared to something petty with the belief that she was simply a jealous shrew.

So, she thumped back to her seat with a scowl, "Any woman in her right mind would feel this way if she had a husband like you."

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Another puzzled expression flashed across Howl's face upon hearing Sophie's comment. This time, however, there was no trace of amusement or teasing in his voice. He even started to look upset, which made Sophie begin to fear that perhaps her tone may have been too sharp.

Sophie started to feel uncertain. It may have been inappropriate to bring this particular subject matter at this time... but if she didn't say her fears out loud right then, she knew she would probably never have the opportunity again. Her husband, after all, was a top-notch slither-outer. It was surprising as it was that he hadn't attempted to crawl away yet.

Thus, Sophie squared her shoulders and faced him to finally tell him what had been in her mind since their wedding day, "I may not have been an elusive catch like Lettie or even Miss Angorian for one of your games, but that does not make me any less a woman. It's very unsettling to be your wife all this time and not have the slightest clue about how you feel... about me."

"What?" Howl gaped at her in disbelief.

Sophie sighed in exasperation. It was either her husband was a better actor than she gave him credit for, or he really was an idiot. She shifted uncomfortably on her seat, but there really was no turning back now. She raised her chin and looked at him straight in the eye with serious determination. "Have you realized, that the whole time we have been together... not once have you told me that you loved me?"

Howl stared at her as an unreadable expression crossed his features. It was almost as if Sophie had grabbed an object just within reach and bashed him on the head with it. As soon as his bewilderment had passed, he took on the appearance of a wounded animal. After a few moments, he turned his gaze from her and gave an indistinct spot ahead of him a stoic glare.

Sophie knew that he was angry now. Not his theatrical-tantrum-with-a-possibility-of-a-dollop-of-green-slime type of angry. But the serious like earlier-that-mid-morning-when-he-discovered-Sophie-went-off-to-Wales-on-her-own type of angry. With that bland expression and in a deadpan voice, he replied with, "Then I strongly suggest that you listen harder."

"And what do **_you_** mean by that?" Sophie demanded, her own temper getting the better of her. How dare he look betrayed? She only spoke the truth! She readied herself, anticipating another one of their arguments.

Instead of snapping back, Howl stood up hastily and strode towards the open window. He was obviously attempting to slither out now. Sophie had half a mind to stomp after him to continue their argument, if the pale moonlight from the window didn't bathe him with an unearthly glow. In its light, Sophie thought he even looked more tired and vulnerable than she originally thought. His light hair exaggerated the paleness of his skin and the dark shadows on the sharp angles of his profile, which Sophie hadn't noticed before.

All at once, Sophie started to regret saying what she had just said as she remembered her conversation with Neil once again. The fact that he didn't give his usual huffy reply after what she said already made it clear that she hurt his feelings deeply. She immediately got on her feet and moved toward him, "I'm... I'm sorry."

She didn't know what else to say. If he heard her, he didn't give any indication that he did. She stepped closer until she was almost beside him. It was only then that she noticed that his eyes were closed and his lips were forming almost inaudible words. She moved even closer, her curiosity getting the better of her, trying to get wind of what he was whispering "Howl...?"

"...If I could choose freely in that great treasure-house... Anything from any shelf, I would give you back yourself, And power to discriminate... What you want and want it not too late..." Sophie heard him whispering softly to himself. He paused, then opened his eyes with a troubled expression. "What's the rest...?"

"The rest?" Sophie echoed. It almost sounded as if he was uttering some sort of spell. Sophie instantly felt worry pierce her entire being as she remembered Calcifer's advice about her husband refraining from using magic. "Howl, the rest of what?"

Howl blinked and looked at her as if he just noticed her standing beside him. He shook his head and turned his gaze up ahead again.

Sophie frowned. Now he was giving her the silent treatment. Normally, it irritated her to no end when he was being particularly obstinate about an argument. But somehow, seeing him passive only made her feel worse. Sophie studied her husband's face again, this time with twice the anxiety, "Howl, what is it? If you're feeling unwell, you should tell me..."

Seeing her close to tears once again, Howl's shoulders drooped, finally replying with a tired sigh, "Nothing. Being here for extended periods of time just takes a lot from me, that's all."

She was sure that he was slithering out again, but at the same time, she couldn't help but sense that he was also telling her a sliver of truth. She really didn't want to return to their earlier conversation. As much as she wanted to confront her husband regarding admitting his feelings for her, she didn't think she could bear it if the answer he gave was something she didn't want to hear. At the same time, she didn't want him to completely withdraw from her.

"Being in Wales tires you?" Sophie asked. She vaguely remembered Howl making a comment once... about loving Wales, but his country rejecting him.

"Being near Megan," Howl corrected. "And anything closely connected to her."

"Well, I don't blame you," Sophie agreed lightly. "The children are quite a handful and your sister... well... no offense, but she does suck the life right out of things."

There was a funny expression on his face, making Sophie think that she completely misunderstood what her husband was saying. If she did, he didn't say anything. He gave her a pained smile as he reached out to stroke her cheek. Sophie closed her eyes, stepped even closer to him until she was pressing herself against him.

"I'm sorry for putting you through this. I'm an even bigger coward than I originally thought I was," She felt him take her hands in his and give them a gentle squeeze. "Sophie... Do you ever regret... meeting me?"

Sophie's eyes widened, completely bewildered by his words. The expression on his face frightened her. Why wouldn't he just say what he meant? If he didn't love her, why didn't he just get it over with and say so? Of course, she knew those weren't the words that she wanted him to say. Remembering how her tears upset him, she lowered her eyes, bit her lip and didn't dare trust her voice. She clung to his shirt tightly and shook her head vigorously.

She was concentrating so hard on trying not to cry that she didn't even notice that her husband had tilted her chin up until she felt his warm lips over hers once again. Her grasp loosened as she instinctively moved her arms to brace herself against his chest.

"**_AUGH!_** Stop it! That is so gross! And in front of the neighbors, too!"

Sophie instantly broke away from her husband to find his nephew's head sticking up from the open door on the floor. Neil was shielding his eyes and was wearing an expression of utmost disgust at the scene that he had just walked in on.

"Neil, what do you want?" Howl asked in a strained voice.

"I finished my homework," Neil announced, still covering his face.

Howl frowned irritably. "And?"

"You said that if I finished my school work, I could go over to Tom's," Neil replied in a patient tone.

"I said if you finished your school work, I'd consider it," Howl corrected, imitating the boy's tone sarcastically.

"**_THAT'S NOT FAIR!"_** Neil glowered at his uncle with that impressive manner of his, his melodramatic disgust forgotten. "You promised!"

"Lower your voice, your sister's already asleep," Howl replied in a stern voice, "And it's already too late in the night to go over and play at your friend's house."

"But Tom's house is just across the street! His Mum doesn't mind if we go to each other's houses as long as we ask permission. She expects me to sleep over now and then. She even offered to take me in for the weekend but Mum was set on shipping us off to Nana Gwen's that's why I couldn't... Tom's got a new game and..." Neil rambled desperately

"If I vaguely remember, the main reason why your Mum doesn't want you spending the night at Tom's was because of a certain incriminating magazine that you 'borrowed' from Tom's older brother," Howl rebutted in a knowing tone

"How---" Neil's face flushed bright red at the remark, but somehow recovered, "Well, the dirty magazine will rank next to nothing when Mum finds out about the 'live show' that was happening here while she was away."

Howl crossed his arms and gave his nephew a bland stare, "Do you honestly believe that I will even consider giving this a second thought now that you've resorted to blackmail?"

"**_THAT'S NOT FAIR!"_** Neil wailed once again, realizing his lost cause, "As if you didn't do anything remotely like that when you were my age. You're acting just like Mum!"

Howl fell silent at that.

Sophie, who was watching the exchange with quiet fascination after recovering from her indignity, could have sworn that she saw a slight twitch at the corner of her husband's left eye upon hearing her nephew's complaint. She couldn't help but smile with amusement at the realization of who won the argument based on her husband's expression. She made silent note of the boy's strategy.

"Be back before lunch tomorrow, and don't tell your mother," Howl finally stated in a low voice.

Neil's face brightened. "Yes! I promise." He exclaimed excitedly, as he disappeared from the attic entrance

"And watch your steps, your sister's sleeping," Howl called out uselessly

"No she's not! She's downstairs, jumping on the sofa!" Neil called back

"Well, you definitely showed him who's boss," Sophie commented as her husband slumped beside her in defeat

"Don't you start," Howl snapped irritably as he started to make his way out of the room "Mari's up again. It'll take forever to put her back to bed."

Sophie followed her husband downstairs. Sure enough, they found the little girl in the family room. She was bouncing gaily on the chesterfield while she flipped channels randomly on the television. Howl started towards her while saying something rapidly in Welsh in a mock angry tone. The little girl squealed, jumped off the couch and ran, giggling, towards Sophie for protection. Sophie let out a good natured laugh as she took the little girl in her arms

"Oh, don't you dare," Howl began in a warning tone, "We made a bargain, and you're not holding your end of it!"

"But I'm not sleepy yet!" Mari complained with an adorable pout as she wrapped her arms around Sophie's neck, "I want to stay up with Aunt Sophie a bit more."

"Mari, don't you want to grow up big and strong? To do that, you need to go to sleep at your bed time," Sophie reasoned gently

Mari let out an adult-like sigh in reply, "Grown-ups are such hip... hippo-grits." Before turning towards her uncle with a proud grin, "That's my big word for the day, Uncle Howell! Mummy said that I have to learn one big English word every day and try to use it in a sentence."

Howl arched an eyebrow before responding, "Is that so? That's very smart of you, Mari. But why would you think that way?"

"Because..." Mari began all-knowingly, "grown-ups tell kids to go to bed so they can stay up all night and have all the fun. Like Mummy and Daddy for one thing. They don't know that I know. But I know exactly why Mummy makes me and Neil go to bed early." The little girl turned towards her Aunt with wide solemn eyes, to emphasize the seriousness of her parents' erring ways. "It's so that she and Daddy can stay up all night to jump up and down on the bed!"

Sophie's jaw dropped in horror and instantly looked at her husband only to meet his eyes staring back at her, speechless, with an identical expression. Sophie felt her face flush with heat once again, and looked away in embarrassment. She turned back to her niece, who was still busy recounting her grievance against her parents' rules.

"Which I think is very unfair, because Mummy makes such a big fuss when **_I _**jump up and down on the sofa. She says that I make too much noise and I'll fall off and break my arm. But she and Daddy are much bigger than me and make louder noises…" Mari continued on innocently. "That's just unfair, isn't it, Aunt Sophie?"

"Errm... w-well..." Sophie stuttered as she looked up once again to her husband for help, only to find that he had disappeared. Sophie scowled at the realization that her husband had slithered out to somewhere again. She glanced back at her niece, who was looking at her expectantly for an answer. She never had to deal with a situation like this before, and was quite unsure of what to do. All of a sudden, it occurred to her that in situations like this, her husband actually had the right idea, "Ah, well… why don't I sit with you and read you a bedtime story until you fall asleep?"

"Uncle Howell already read me my favourite parts in Gododdin earlier," Mari said thoughtfully, "Do you like Gododdin?"

"I'm afraid not," Sophie admitted regretfully, "What is it about?"

"It's a very very very old and very very sad poem about a war that happened a long time ago. Way way back before there was just one king," Mari explained excitedly. "Uncle Howell reads it the just the right way. My favourite part is when the armies started fighting…"

Another look of dismay crossed Sophie's features as her niece recounted one bloody incident after the other that the members of Gododdin's army contributed. While Wales was an entirely different country from Ingary, she knew well enough that bedtime stories about severed heads and blood-soaked fields were not appropriate bedtime story materials for little girls. She was actually very shocked that Mari had kept such a sweet disposition after all the wicked things that her husband planted in the little girl's imagination.

"Why don't I tell you another story instead?" Sophie finally interrupted as she sat down on the chesterfield, still holding the little girl on her lap

Mari cocked her head to one side, "All right... will it have a battle in it? It's not a love story is it? I don't like the fairytale books about princes rescuing princesses that my Mum likes to read me. They're not quite as exciting."

"Ah... well..." Sophie stammered, with the sudden realization that she didn't even have a story in mind yet. Mari definitely was not the typical child who would be content with the stories Sophie was familiar with from her childhood. They were mostly about princes rescuing princesses. Of course, with adult hindsight, Sophie had to silently agree with her niece that those stories were definitely not as exciting as the fast-paced, though disturbing, battle scenes that Mari described.

Thus Sophie simply decided to start with a basic story and make up the rest as she went along, and hoped that it would satisfy the little girl. Unfortunately, there was only one story that she knew by heart at the moment.

"Once upon a time... well, there was this young girl... An evil witch decided to put a curse on her for no apparent reason," Sophie began uncertainly.

"That doesn't sound fair," Mari protested

"That's why the witch was evil," Sophie explained

"So how did she get out of it?" Mari asked curiously

"Well, she had to endure a lot of hardship. But her first task was to find someone who could help lift her curse," Sophie continued with a lot more ease. "Unfortunately, the only person who could help her was a horrible Wizard, who had no heart."

"He had no heart!" Mari exclaimed. "That can't be right. A person can't stay alive without a heart."

"Ah, but the Wizard did. It was because..."

To Sophie's surprise, the more she told her story, the easier the words came. Soon enough, Mari stopped asking questions altogether and simply stared at her with wide eyes, and listened to her voice completely mesmerized. A short while after that, the little girl was lying in her arms, sleeping soundly.

Sophie shifted the load in her arms carefully as she stood up and made her way to her niece's room. She found her husband in the hallway, scribbling neat lines, diagrams and words that she couldn't understand on the wall with white chalk. From the look of things, he had probably been at it since he'd disappeared from the family room because almost the entire hallway was covered with it.

"What are you doing?" Sophie asked, careful not to wake the sleeping child in her arms.

"Don't distract me when I'm working by poking in that big nose of yours again. I'm just putting a sound proofing spell on the walls. But it can be a big mess if I make a mistake," Howl chided irritably, without bothering to turn around to look at his wife

"Didn't Calcifer say that you're not to use any magic while we're in Wales?" Sophie countered

Howl stopped immediately upon hearing that and slowly turned to face her with an accusing glare, "And just where did you hear that?"

"Arr... erm..." Sophie froze and looked away uncomfortably, realizing that she just let on that she had been eavesdropping on her husband and the fire demon's conversation earlier. "But should you really be doing that? I don't think your sister would appreciate you making alterations to her house without her knowledge."

Howl took in a long patient breath before replying, "The way I see it, there is only one other logical option to solving this particular situation. When my sister comes home tomorrow afternoon we stand there and say, 'Oh, things went well. The house is still in one piece and we managed to keep Neil and Mari from ripping each other apart... oh, and speaking of which... did you know that the children can hear you and Gareth have sex?' You see Sophie, I'm too much of a coward to say that to my sister's face. But if you think you can muster enough nerve, you are more than welcome to do that in my stead."

Sophie blinked at her husband's words. Tell her sister-in-law about that? All at once, she understood Howl's logic as a twinge of inexplicable terror pierced through her entire being. Sophie turned her gaze away from her husband, suddenly not able to meet his eyes.

"Well?" Howl demanded.

Sophie felt her face heat up again at the realization that her husband was actually expecting her to give him an answer. She shifted Mari in her arms uncomfortably as she stared at an indistinct spot on the carpet before mumbling, "Don't forget the bathroom as well."

Howl let out a sound that sounded like a cross between a snort and the beginning of a laugh. Sophie raised her eyes cautiously and saw that her husband had turned away to go back to work, but not without noting that he had turned a fair shade of red as well. Despite herself, Sophie couldn't help but feel amazed at having witnessed this side of her husband. She had never really seen him openly flustered, although, she had caught a glimpse of him cowering helplessly before his sister's anger once. Otherwise, he always seemed to manage to hide his embarrassment under his collected and charming persona... or slither out of sight conveniently. It was rather endearing.

"It's going to be a pain coming back every couple of weeks to reinforce it," Howl commented idly

"Every few weeks? Aren't there any stronger spells that you can use instead?" Sophie stared at the magic pentagram on the wall in confusion

"Megan doesn't look it, or had any proper training, but she would have been a formidable witch if she even had the slightest faith in magic," Howl smirked, "It's all instinctive for her, but I'm afraid her greatest talent is to significantly weaken and eventually neutralize my magic."

"You mean you can't do any magic when Megan's around?" Sophie's eyes widened at the revelation

"I can do little parlour tricks like shape-shifting clothes and such," Howl replied, "But none of the big impressive ones. The stronger the magic I use, the more her powers weakens me. Fortunately she doesn't seem to have any effect Calcifer's magic. Otherwise, the Wales entrance would have been rendered useless years ago."

Suddenly everything about Howl's behaviour around his family started to make sense. No wonder he wasn't too keen about visiting his sister's family so often. Looking back, it also made a whole lot of sense why he attacked the Witch of the Waste the way he did, that particular midsummer's day as compared to the earlier impressive battle he and the Witch fought in Porthaven. It also explained why he looked a lot more tired since their arrival in Wales.

Sophie worriedly watched her husband work for a few moments. It occurred to her that while it would be easy for Howl to weave the spell now, since his sister was away, there weren't going to be any easier opportunities in the future. It would only get harder for him to continue this... if Megan even allowed it, that was.

She let out a sigh, as she realized an easier solution to the problem. She stepped closer to her husband and handed him the sleeping little girl before he could protest. Fortunately, Mari slept through the whole exchange without even a hint of a whimper.

"What the blazes are you up to now?" Howl inquired as he cradled Mari's head in the crook of his neck

"Watch and learn," Sophie announced haughtily with a mischievous grin. She then squared her shoulders, put her hands on her hips and faced the walls of the hallway sternly. "Walls, you've all been disgraceful! It's your purpose to ensure privacy within yourselves. Letting people hear what's going on inside your rooms, well, that's completely unacceptable. From now on, make sure that no one can hear a peep through you..." Sophie paused for a minute as a thought occurred to her, "... unless it's something very important of course."

With that, she turned back to her husband with a satisfied smile, "I hope that meets your approval, Mr. Jenkins."

"Very much indeed, Mrs. Jenkins," Howl replied, smiling back as he took her hand in his free hand.

A short time later, Sophie was tucking Mari in bed while her husband stood beside her. It wasn't until they were out of their niece's room that Sophie glanced up at him to find her husband watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. "What?"

"Nothing," Howl replied with a small shake of his head, "I was just thinking how seeing you tuck Mari in looked rather befitting. A pleasant thought just occurred to me that this could be us in a few years."

Sophie gaped at him in surprise, completely taken aback by his comment.

Her husband seemed to notice her disbelief and instantly frowned at her reaction. "What?"

"I'm just pleasantly surprised," Sophie replied as she gave him an impish grin, "Do you realize that you just pinned yourself down to spending at least seven years of your life with me?"

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" Howl demanded, looking genuinely offended at what his wife was implying

"Well, I figured that it will take at least that long for our own child to be born and grow up to be Mari's age now," Sophie replied in a very serious tone. "But of course, that's a very modest estimate. It could actually take even longer at the rate you're going."

"Is that so?" Howl remarked in the same tone

"I may not have a great deal of knowledge and personal experience in the subject matter," Sophie continued on. "But I know well enough that children do not pop out of the ground overnight like mushrooms. It involves a great deal of... effort."

"Why Mrs. Jenkins," Howl whispered softly as he reached out to caress her cheek. He leaned closer until she could feel his breath against her neck, "are you proposing something?"

"No," Sophie murmured back, feigning innocence, "just merely stating the facts about the birds and the bees."

Howl let out a small laugh at that, though it didn't last long as Sophie reached out to capture his lips. They didn't appear to have said much after that. The walls weren't going to tattle if there were other sounds made within its rooms either.

End of Chapter 4  
To be concluded...

* * *

Author's squawk:

Okaaaaay... Before I rant, here are a couple of reference notes.

"Gododdyn" is an epic Welsh poemfrom the 6th Century by a Cynfeirdd (them early Welsh poets) called Aneirin. It documents the tragic attempt of King Mynyddawg Mwynfawr to regain Catterick for the Welsh-speaking kingdom of Gododdin from the English with 300 men. It has an impressive bloody battle and ends with disaster, with only one man and the poet surviving from the 300. Very tragic and very angsty stuff, but if you love testosterone, blood, and violence set in the 6th Century... I highly recommend it.

The poem that Howl was whispering is an excerpt from a very sweet poem that I stumbled by accident when I was leafing through "The Oxford Book of Welsh Verse in English" (1977), during my research for Dafydd Ap Gwilym. The poem is "And you, Helen" by Edward Thomas. Poem not recommended for diabetics and sitting next to friends who have a tendency to squealin your ear when they hear romantically sappy poems like these being read aloud by a handsome latino guy who has a low bedroom voice with a sexy Spanish accent... rowr!

Now... I know a couple of people are wondering why I chose this wedding route. Well, its mainly because I wanted to write something to set apart from the usual Howl and Sophie get married scenario! Nothing puts a couple in a more awkward situation than a shot gun marriage, I always say! .

BTW... I jutt finished reading "Fire and Hemlock" yesterday… and that counts 3 couples that I've read so far! (The third are characters from "Deep Secret") What is DWJ's fascination with pairing a young girl with a man almost 10 years older (or more)? Well, Howl is 9 years older than Sophie...

Anywayz...

Thank you for all the reviews! Your comments and criticisms are all very appreciated!

Thank you very much to Mimea! I dunno how you do it. But you have the patience of Buddha! .

One more chapter to go... and when I post that chapter, I think I might need to move the fic to the "M" section. Though, this chapter is already pretty racy as it is, don't you think? If you think the rating needs to get heavier, let me know and I'll move it.

Ja!  
Ina-chan


	5. Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer:_** "Howl's Moving Castle" and all its characters belong to Diana Wynne Jones. I simply own two copies of the mentioned book, one has Howl in the front holding Ben's electric guitar and the other is the silly cartoon one that has the moving castle floating the background like a huge phallic symbol (hmmm… Calcifer is compensating for something, perhaps? .)

September 11, 2005

**Revelations About the Birds and the Bees…  
**_(and other things not mentioned as the aftereffects of "Happily Ever Afters")_

Chapter Five  
by Ina-chan

The sun's rays filtered through the curtains, persistently seeping through her closed eyelids. No matter how hard she resisted leaving the comforting cocoon of sleep, the will of wakefulness was simply too hard to disobey at that point. Thus, Sophie reluctantly opened her eyes to the sight of her husband's slumbering face, a soft snore coming from his parted lips.

Despite herself, Sophie couldn't help but smile. He truly looked deceptively angelic when he slept. As per her waking ritual on those times when she woke before him, she reached out to brush the stray yellow strands from his eyes to place a soft peck on his forehead. Normally, she would snuggle with him for a few more minutes, to steal a few more moments of warmth and to hear the reassuring beat of his heart.

This time, however, the sun's rays didn't seem like the gentle morning light she was used to as an inexplicable sense of urgency seemed to accompany it. Then the events of the night before and the early morning came crashing back to her memory.

"Oh! It's this late already!" Sophie gasped aloud as she sat up with a start when realization hit her

Or at least, she tried to sit up.

As if sensing his bedmate's intent to depart, Howl suddenly reached out for his wife in his sleep and held on to her like a child clutching a precious stuffed toy. Sophie let out another surprised gasp as she struggled from his grasp and tried to catch her breath. She had half a mind to whack him on the head or kick him awake. Somehow, she managed to stop the urge upon remembering that this was the first restful sleep her husband had gotten in a long time. Their adventure in Wales definitely hadn't made things easier.

"Somehow, you always find a way to make yourself a bother," Sophie softly scolded him in mock indignation, "Howl Jenkins, I have other things to do than be your human teddy bear, you know."

As if he'd heard her, Howl simply let out an insolent snort in protest in between snores. Sophie sighed and gave her husband's golden locks another affectionate caress before attempting to leave again.

Somehow, she skillfully managed to convince her husband that her pillow was as good a substitute for the real thing. She then wiggled out of bed, shed her nightclothes in exchange for a more sensible outfit, and ran down to the castle's main floor within a span of fifteen minutes without breaking her neck.

"I'm sorry I overslept! Calcifer, you should have woken me!" Sophie called out absently as she wrapped the first apron she happened upon around her waist. "Is Michael already in the shop? Let me get started with lunch at least…"

"Don't worry about it, dear. It's all taken care of," a familiar voice chirped cheerily

Sophie froze, recognizing the owner of the voice standing by a rather well- presented luncheon on the workbench. "Fanny? What are you doing here?"

"I dropped by for a visit yesterday to see how you're doing," Fanny replied as she arranged the flowers in the centerpiece.

"I really wish you would send notice before you do that." Sophie frowned. It was just like Fanny to drop by suddenly unannounced. Then again, her sisters were no different. It could get tedious sometimes.

"Of course, that lovely young apprentice of your husband's… such a nice young man… informed me that you'd been spirited away on some sort of holiday." Fanny continued on, taking no heed of her daughter's sulky comment. "I said to myself, 'Finally!' And being the thoughtful person that I am, I came right over for the morning after. I know exactly how it is to be in your position right now."

"And what position is that, exactly?" Sophie inquired, not bothering to hide her complete bafflement

"Sophie, there's no need to act so coy around me. You know exactly what I mean!" The older woman put one dainty hand on her hip and gave her stepdaughter an exasperated look, "The blossoming role of the blushing bride, of course!"

Sophie choked as an embarrassed gasp and a mirthful laugh tried to pass through her throat at the same time. Before she could manage a coherent reply, Fanny was already leading Sophie by the shoulders and firmly setting her down on a chair opposite the older woman's seat.

"I figured that this would be the perfect time for the two of us to have a proper mother-daughter chat since I know from experience that men are usually out like a light for hours after such long, rigorous activity. Now Dear, I know Mrs. Fairfax already gave you sound advice about the activities that happen between a married couple," Fanny rambled on, "but knowing how Annabel explains things… as lovely as she is… it's more likely to scare you into postponing the whole thing. But you've always been a sensible girl, so I wasn't too worried. I thought that you would figure things out on your own. Then I would simply step in to give you little tips and techniques once you're good and ready."

"What?" Sophie cried out in horror, turning several shades of red, quickly scanning the room for any hints of Michael eavesdropping on her very embarrassing conversation with her stepmother.

"Oh, don't worry about the boy," Fanny said reassuringly with a wave of a hand, as if reading the younger woman's thoughts. "The shop is closed up for the day, and I sent him out for a day off… though he seemed rather persistent about wanting to stay. I had to recruit your sister to convince him to step out the door. Now, don't be shy. It's just us girls now. Tell me all about last night and feel free to ask me any questions."

It might be noteworthy to point out at this point, that since Fanny's marriage to Mr. Sacheverell Smith, Martha had stopped her apprenticeship at Cesari's (to the disappointment of her admirers), returned to her mother's care and had gone to finish her schooling. Though, Fanny agreed to permit her daughter to continue working at the bakery part-time at Martha's leisure… when her schoolwork allowed, that was. Martha had gotten fond of the staff, and of course, any rendezvous with Michael had become difficult outside Cesari's. It would seem that Mr. Smith had taken the role of a doting over-protective stepfather very seriously.

Lettie, like Sophie, refused to return to her mother's house. She still lived under Mrs. Fairfax's roof, but the Royal Wizard Suliman had taken the task of being her new tutor. To Mrs. Fairfax's delight, it seemed that the Royal Wizard had been coming to the old Witch's house far more than needed to teach his young apprentice. It was rumoured that an engagement announcement was pending within a few weeks' time and that Ingary's other Royal Wizard would be married before the year was out. In fact, someone started a betting pool at the Royal Court, which his friend Prince Justin vehemently denied starting, and was already amassing a small fortune of when that date will be.

When that date finally arrived, Sophie would learn that one of the reasons her husband had been suddenly burdened with so much of the King's summons was the fact that Howl had taken it upon himself in order for Ben Sullivan to pursue his personal matters. One would think that it was a rather thoughtful gesture between one Welshman to another, but knowing Howl, there had to be an ulterior motive for that particular action… considering the history between himself and Lettie Hatter. It was no secret that based on that awkward history Lettie had taken the side of loudly disapproving her sister's marriage to Ingary's infamous wizard.

Of course, that was a story for another time. At this moment, Sophie was sitting before her stepmother, looking ready to explode with embarrassment at the older woman's nosiness. "Fanny! Nothing happened!"

It had been bad enough when Mrs. Fairfax pulled her aside to give her a rather tedious lecture about the birds and the bees on her wedding day. Much of what was said, other than the basic mechanics, flew over her head anyway. Now, Fanny was prying as if to asses her 'performance' like it was some kind of a review for a practical exam… it was simply too much! The fact that there was still nothing to 'assess' in the first place only made things worse.

"What do you mean, nothing happened?" Fanny frowned, looking baffled at her stepdaughter's revelation. "You finally go off to who-knows-where alone with your husband, return in the morning exhausted, and sleep right through the afternoon… and don't tell me that suspicious mark on your neck is just a skin allergy."

Sophie's eyes widened as her hands instantly went up to her collar self-consciously. Her face instantly turned another deeper shade of red.

"Aha! That always works!" Fanny gave the younger woman a triumphant smile. "So something **DID** happen!"

"That's dirty! Playing with my feelings like that!" Sophie shot back sulkily before putting on a defensive air. She continued to clutch her collar as she looked away uncomfortably, realizing that the only way for her stepmother to let go of the whole subject matter was to tell the truth. "You should have known better that we wouldn't do anything further than that in another person's home!"

Sophie didn't wait for Fanny to reply. Another flush tinged her face, though this time hinting that it was because of an entirely different emotion based on the slight increase of the tone of her voice. One would recognize Sophie's infamous controlled anger from her involuntary tremors and her clenched fists as she recounted the events of the night in the Parry home.

"After we tucked Mari in, Howl's sister started ringing every fifteen minutes for almost three hours to check up on the house. That woman can be completely impossible with her paranoia! I think she was doing it on purpose, ringing at that specific time of night. Poor Howl didn't get a wink of sleep until we came home all because of his sister's silliness," Sophie spat angrily. She suddenly stood up and started pacing about the room. "I had half a mind to pull the telephone line out of the wall, if it weren't for the fact that Megan would ring the Police and the Fire Brigade if she couldn't reach us. Ooooh! The nerve of her! Implying that I'm driving her brother's health into the ground when she's the one who's making his life miserable! If the children weren't there, I would have given her a piece of my mind! I ought to have---"

"So you're saying that nothing happened…" Fanny interrupted, grabbing her daughter's arm as the younger woman passed, and firmly redirecting her back to her seat. Sophie noted that it was obvious from the expression on Fanny's face that half of what she ranted didn't make much sense to her stepmother.

Sophie let out a slow calming breath before turning her attention back to the older woman. All at once, it became clear why she felt that she couldn't come to Fanny even if she wanted to. Howl's life… **_their_** life was just simply too complex to explain. Howl's magic, Wales, and other the related complications were just beyond Fanny's comprehension. Of course, it didn't help the fact that Fanny seemed to be only interested in "solving" only one aspect of their complex and interconnected problems.

"Isn't that's exactly what I've been trying to tell you?" Sophie sighed, finally giving in. She averted her eyes again before admitting, "Of course we've kissed and… touched… and…" Sophie's voice trailed off as she touched a spot on her neck, blushing again from memory of it, "…but things never got further than that. They never have!"

"They never have?" The older woman echoed as another line, etched over her delicate features. This time, the lines on Fanny's forehead didn't hide her concern over her stepdaughter's situation. "Oh dear. You mean to tell me that you have been married all this time and you haven't… not even once? All along, I thought you were just keeping quiet because you were too embarrassed to come to me."

"Why in the world would you think that?" Sophie demanded, feeling a little bit scandalized. But it was more at the idea that Fanny expected Sophie would run to her and gossip about her private life.

"Well, would you have come to me to ask advice on your own?" Fanny inquired gently, "Not necessarily about that… but about this current situation you're in?"

Sophie suddenly realized that there was no way she could answer that question without sounding ungrateful. Fanny was right. There was no way she would have gone to her stepmother to ask advice. Most especially with matters concerning this particular situation they were in. Sophie bowed her head, a little bit ashamed.

Sensing her distress, Fanny reached over and patted her stepdaughter's shoulder, "Don't worry about it, dear. I understand how frustrating and embarrassing it is to admit that things aren't working out exactly as you expected them to."

A small scowl marred Sophie's features… it wasn't like that at all! Well… perhaps what Fanny said was a little bit true… just a teeny bit. But it was more the fact that she barely had enough of her husband for herself, telling other people about those private things would be… in a manner of speaking… sharing him even further with others. 'Others', who had no business meddling about their private affairs.

"Oh, Sophie! I'm so sorry Darling," Fanny sighed miserably, clearly misinterpreting Sophie's silence, "when we pushed for you to marry, it was with the good intention of protecting your virtue, given your husband's horrible reputation. It would seem that we have misjudged his character and may have pushed you into something that you're not yet quite ready for."

"But it's not like that at all!" Sophie protested aloud now as she looked back up at her mother, getting even more irritated at what her stepmother was implying. Despite the small idiosyncrasies that she had to deal with being married to her husband, she wasn't particularly unhappy. "It's true that there are a number of things that Howl and I still have to work out and get used to before we take things a step further… but we do have a lifetime to figure those things out together, after all."

Fanny stared at her with a stunned expression before letting out a peal of amused laughter at her stepdaughter's words, "And here, I'm supposed to be the one imparting worldly wisdom!" She patted her daughter's shoulder once again, as if admitting defeat. "Very well then, I'll leave things to your judgment. But Sophie, dear, don't wait too long. I don't want you to regret missing out on other things."

"But…" Sophie protested hesitantly. She stared into her stepmother's searching eyes. She could see Fanny's anxiety very clearly in them… or were her stepmother's orbs simply reflecting Sophie's own apprehension? Suddenly, she wasn't so sure. Sophie closed her eyes and blocked out everything, trying to search deep inside herself for what she knew was certain. And then, she found it. She opened her eyes and gave Fanny a determined look. "I don't regret anything."

Fanny smiled warmly as she rose to her feet and took off the apron tied around her waist, in exchange for her coat hung at the back of her chair, "I better be on my way. Your husband is bound to wake up at any minute, and mine has been patiently waiting at home."

"Must you go, really?" Sophie protested as she got on her feet as well. She followed her stepmother to the door and felt a little bit surprised to realize that she was genuinely sorry to see her stepmother leave.

"Then I shall give you my first unsolicited maternal advice with regards to marriage," Fanny stated nonsensically as she pulled on her lace gloves and fetched her parasol by the front door. Then she turned to her daughter with a serious expression. "Husbands can be obstinate. Sometimes, it's the wife's role to take matters to her own hands and make the first move!" She gave the younger woman an affectionate hug as she whispered softly in her ear, "And in exchange for that bit of wisdom, I expect my first grandchild by this time next year."

"**_FANNY!_**" Sophie cried out, her face flushing once again in complete mortification

"If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to come to me," Fanny smiled warmly as she cupped her daughter's cheek with a gloved hand

Sophie nodded with a grateful smile, then watched her stepmother walk out the mansion entrance, down the path, and drive away in her carriage.

"Are you serious about what you said? Nothing happened at all?" Another voice suddenly spoke behind her as she closed the door, causing Sophie to jump out of her skin. "Another wasted opportunity down the drain…"

"**_CALCIFER!_**" Sophie glared at the fire demon, who was poking his blue green flames cautiously from the grate of his hearth. "How long have you been there? Have you eavesdropping all this time?"

"Not on purpose! I was here first, but when your mother barged in and terrorized Michael away, I deemed it safer to keep a low profile." Calcifer replied defensively, sounding a bit sheepish at the same time. Then he switched to a more serious tone, "But she's right, you know. You can't sit around waiting for him. If you leave things as they are, you'll probably be ninety again by the time he gets around to doing anything."

"Don't you start thinking **_your_** nose into things that are none of your business!" Sophie retorted irritably

Calcifer rolled the purple pinpricks of his orange eyes in exasperation, "I personally don't care what you two do. But watching the both of you mope around the house with all this… tension… without a second thought of how it's affecting the innocent bystanders around… Well, it's quite annoying! I think Michael is getting traumatized by it. You don't even realize what you two are doing, do you?"

"What are you talking about?" Sophie exclaimed, getting infuriated herself

"You two are like these children who can't decide on whether you should pick at a scab or not. You know you want to do it, but both of you are too scared to get rid of it," Calcifer explained impatiently. "It's irritating to watch. Just give it a quick poke and get it all over with before you both regret not picking at it when you had the chance!"

Sophie's features scrunched up in complete bewilderment, "You're not making any sense all!"

"My point exactly! Neither are the two of you!" Calcifer shot back, his flames flickering rapidly as if to reflect his growing irritation. "Frankly, I'm disappointed in you. You're supposed to be the one with the common sense… still can't get a hint right under your nose…"

Sophie put both hands on her hips and glared at the fire demon with the most cross expression she could muster. "What's all that now? I thought you were supposed to be on my side!"

Calcifer arched a green eyebrow, not hiding his amusement. "What gave you **_that_** idea?"

"Because I'm right!" Sophie stated with such great conviction that Calcifer couldn't help but burst into a cackle of uncontrollable laughter. Sophie frowned, not appreciating someone laughing at her own expense. But she knew that Calcifer would never laugh at her maliciously.

The expression on the fire demon's face seemed to reflect that as soon as he composed himself. "This isn't getting us anywhere. Why don't you just cough up what's really bothering you?"

Sophie let out small sigh, and dragged a chair to sit by the fire demon's hearth. She didn't exactly know what to say at the beginning. She wasn't even sure if she should be telling Calcifer anything in the first place. In the end, the logical side of her mind reasoned that Calcifer was probably the best person… thing… er… fire demon to talk to about these matters.

Since fire demons don't have any real concept of what humans perceive as morally good or evil (after all, he did manage to share Howl's heart all these years without being corrupted by it), she knew that he wasn't going to give her unsolicited advice. For the same reason that he once shared Howl's heart, Calcifer would probably be the best choice of who to seek counsel with on matters relating to her husband.

She started with her frustrations during their overnight stay in the Parry household. Before Sophie knew what was happening, she found herself pretty much close to tears as she poured out everything that hung heavily within her… all her hurts, and her insecurities. All that time, Calcifer sat in his hearth, listening quietly with a thoughtful expression on his face. Even long after she finished speaking her mind, Calcifer still waited patiently until she managed to subdue her sobs into soft sniffles.

"Basically, the root of the problem is really because your vain peacock of a husband hasn't told you his true feelings," Calcifer stated matter-of-factly

Sophie blinked. It wasn't exactly what she expected the fire demon to say, but in hindsight, she quickly realized that was, indeed, the main insecurity that had started the whole ordeal in the first place. The fact that he never said it aloud… and he always seemed to hold back or avoid it even when they were in an intimate situation.

"Well, we both know that Howl is a yellow-bellied-coward in all counts," Calcifer continued on, when she didn't reply. "I can't account for the time before we made our contract, but I know for a fact that he would rather run away with his tail between his legs than find himself in a vulnerable situation. Or even show his vulnerability to other people. Heartless or not, I always assumed that was the likely the main reason why he dropped the flavour of the month the moment the poor girl started responding to his affections."

Sophie chewed her lower lip as Calcifer bluntly pointed out another one of her fears. That was, if she heeded Fanny's advice and made the first move, she would become like those other girls in Howl's past. She may have kept a strong front all this time, but she knew that she couldn't bear it if Howl turned around and left her after she told him how she felt. Sophie made another miserable sniffle before talking. "Howl never acted with me the same way he did when he was chasing Lettie or even Miss Angorian. I admit that I have very little experience with these things. But how else am I to know his real feelings if he won't tell me?"

"Sophie, if you can't see what's in front of you," Calcifer sighed, which sounded more like a hiss of water dousing embers on a log. From the expression on his face, it was obvious that he was on the verge of losing his patience again, "then you're either blind or a bigger idiot than that pathetic lout snoring in your bedroom."

Sophie glared at Calcifer indignantly. She knew that she couldn't expect any sympathy from a fire demon. Regardless, it still stung to hear it… most especially when she felt that she was the one getting the short end of the stick. "Well then tell me Calcifer? He's away most of the time, possibly avoiding having to deal with me. When we are together, even when things start out pleasantly, it always turns into a big fight. How would you say he treats me then?"

"Like an equal," the fire demon replied firmly. "Just think about that for a moment, Sophie." He muttered under his breath, "After all this time, I still have to spell everything out before you get it…"

Sophie almost fell off her chair upon hearing Calcifer's words. She'd never expected that answer. Remembering Howl's past actions with women, Calcifer did say that he "dropped" them the moment they started responding to his affections… then most likely than not, they probably never knew him long enough for him to show his more annoying traits.

The only other woman she'd seen him argue with was his sister, and the argument always fell in her favour, of course. Megan had seen her brother angry, but he definitely hadn't shown Megan his temper at his worst like those several occasions that he had shown Sophie. Otherwise, Megan would think twice about igniting her brother's temper. Based on the stinging words that Megan still threw at her brother, it was also obvious that Howl had yet to tell her about his other life… and his important job… or even about Ingary.

And finally, Calcifer did mention that Howl had the nasty habit of running away when he found himself in a vulnerable position… yet… on more than one occasion… even before their marriage and the contract had been broken, he'd allowed her to see glimpses of his vulnerability.

"_Have you realized, that the whole time we have been together… not once have you told me that you loved me?"_

"_Then I strongly suggest that you listen harder." _

"Oh Calcifer," Sophie broke into another round of tears, "he's right! I haven't been listening, have I?"

"Oy! Watch where you're dripping!" Calcifer exclaimed in alarm, but made no effort to move away whatsoever.

But it was enough for Sophie to compose herself. She dabbed her tears with the hem of her apron before turning back to the fire demon, "What should I do now?"

"How should I know?" Calcifer's flames ruffled in annoyance, though his expression quickly softened as he continued on, "Look… It's not my place to tell you, but if it helps, I'll tell you anyway… He's frightened too, you know?"

"Eh?" Sophie stared at the fire demon in disbelief. "Are you talking about Howl?"

"No, I'm talking about your eight-legged tenants which you enjoy terrorizing at every opportunity… **_of course I'm talking about Howl!_**" Calcifer crackled exasperatedly. "He's only had his heart back for a few months, dealing with this and that, and you can be quite overwhelming. What makes this whole ordeal so ironic is the fact that he's completely terrified that if he went about his usual way of courting women with you, you'd question his sincerity based on what he's done in the past and actually succeed with your past attempts of leaving him."

This time, it was Sophie who gave the fire demon an incensed expression, "But that's absurd! He should know by now how I feel about him!"

"And he knows how you feel… because you've told him?" Calcifer prompted as he arched both green eyebrows meaningfully

Sophie's eyes widened as she finally understood what Calcifer was trying to say. All at once, she knew exactly what she should do. She would have hugged and kissed the fire demon if it were possible, but she settled with giving him a grateful laugh instead.

"Have fun," Calcifer sizzled in a suggestive tone as he watched the young woman hike up her skirts and quickly run up the stairs to return to her sleeping husband.

End of Chapter 5  
To be concluded… for real!

* * *

Author's Squawk:

I know… I lied. I honestly thought I was going to finish this by chapter five. Actually, I did… but the piece ended up extremely and epically loooooong. I basically just cut the entire chapter in half. The other half is still being betaed by the very lovely and talented Mimea. It's the "M" version for ffnet, of course. As soon as she's done with that, I'll attempt to pen down the mediaminer and affnet version. And when **_that's_** done and betaed, I'll post the last half finally.

Of course penning down my idea for this final chapter caused complications. Before I finished it, I thought I was going to go back to my other fic right away… but my muses. AUGH! These lovely, torturous creatures of light! How I love them and despise them at the same time! More ideas came pouring forth about the women in Howl's past… particularly about a certain woman who lived in the Waste…

In which the wicked, with the company of a demon, searches for the angel who will grant her greatest desire… .

Now how's that for a confusing teaser?

For comments, criticisms… click the review button please!


	6. Chapter 6

**_Disclaimer_: **All characters in HMC belongs to Diana Wynne Jones. "And You, Helen" is a poem by Edward Thomas. And me? I'm just a _(perverted)_ writer wannabe who wishes she can earn money through writing and not starve…

September 18, 2005

**Revelations About the Birds and the Bees…  
**_(and other things not mentioned as the aftereffects of "Happily Ever Afters")_

Chapter Six  
by Ina-chan

Sophie found Howl as exactly how she had left him… clutching a pillow, snoring softly and completely dead to the world. Typically, she would have stared at her husband in wonder at how he could have possibly slept through the noise and commotion downstairs. But then, there were a million and one thoughts running through her mind. The most important at the moment was to wake him and start sharing each and single one of them with him.

"Howl," she called out to him as she reached out and shook his shoulder

Howl tuned over on to his back with a mumbled, incoherent reply and went on with his snoring.

Like an annoyed child, Sophie climbed onto the bed, straddled his waist, and bent over him as close as she could get to his ear. "**HOWL!**"

Howl's eyes snapped open at the sound and he started flailing about in confusion, almost throwing Sophie off the bed. Somehow, Sophie managed to hold on to him until recognition lined his features.

"At another time, I would be been thrilled at waking up with you on top of me like this, cariad." Howl smiled weakly at the compromising position his wife had unwittingly put herself into. He emphasized his point by twining his fingers on the strands of long red gold locks from her now loosened chignon, which splayed like a delicate curtain over his head. "But I'm afraid I'm just too tired to do anything else other than appreciate the view."

"I'm about to tell you something very important," Sophie stated firmly, ignoring her husband's sleepy protests, "and no, it can't wait."

"All right…" Howl mumbled in agreement, though he had already started to drift back to sleep

Sophie glowered at her husband indignantly. Whether it was intentional or not, why was it that whenever she had made up her mind about going through with this, her husband always found a way to get himself indisposed? Well, she wasn't going to delay this any longer. At that point, with her discussion with Cacifer driving her, she didn't care about anything else anymore except telling him how she felt.

"**_WAKE UP!_**" Sophie yelled in frustration, emphasizing her annoyance by punching her husband's arm.

Hard.

"**_OW!_**" Howl's eyes snapped open again, this time, pain completely driving sleep from his mind. He glared at his wife as he nursed his injured arm. "What's gotten into you?"

Sophie ignored his whining as she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath before speaking, "I've decided that I was going to tell you that I love you, even though you probably don't deserve it."

"Well, you definitely have a funny way of showing it," Howl complained sulkily as he continued to rub his sore arm

"And further more," Sophie continued on, "if you have any intention of running away with your tail between your legs now that I've told you, you should know that it won't do any good. You're stuck with me, Mr. Jenkins. And you already know from experience how determined I can be. I will hun…"

Howl froze, as his wife's words finally registered clearly in his consciousness. He grabbed Sophie's shoulders and shook her gently, "Wait, wait… stop… **_HUSH_**!"

"The cheek!" Sophie glared at him crossly, "Don't you **_hush_** me! I've been waiting all these months to speak my mind and I will do it. So don't you interrupt!"

Howl's hands tightened their grasp on his wife's shoulders impatiently, ignoring her complaints, "What you just said right now… say it again."

"I will hunt you like the dog that you are?" Sophie eyed her husband strangely, feeling a bit bewildered as to why he would want to hear her threats again

Howl shook his head, "No! **_BEFORE_** that! What did you say before that?"

Sophie frowned as she quickly tried to recall her words, which is no easy feat when you are speaking in the heat of the moment. "You're stuck with me?"

Howl shook his head again as leaned closer to her, forcing Sophie to look deeply in his green orbs. His voice dropped into a low tone as she felt his hands leave her shoulders to cup her face, "Before that."

All at once Sophie immediately knew the words that he wanted to hear. Her expression softened as she reached out to caress his cheek, "I love you."

Then there was silence.

All Sophie could hear was the loud thumping noise in her ears as her heart pounded fervently in her chest. She felt her breath hitch as she stared in to his eyes. There was an unreadable expression in them, and he stared at her as if her words had robbed him of ability to speak. She felt his thumb graze lightly against her lower lip and it took all she had to fight the strange, sudden urge to close her eyes and take it in her mouth.

"Say it again," Howl repeated again in a soft whisper

"I lo—fff…" Sophie began obediently, as if under a spell. But before she could even finish her sentence, his mouth was devouring hers with hunger and passion, as if he were attempting to swallow her words.

When they finally broke for air, Sophie couldn't help gazing at her husband with an odd sense of astonishment. She thought that she was no longer a stranger to her husband's passions… it was only until that moment that she realized, with a shock, how much he had been holding back from her.

Then for a brief moment, her mind froze with a strong sense of uncertainty. She knew all at once that after this, everything between them would change. It frightened her. It thrilled her. She wanted to stop, run away, and leave things as they were. She wanted to run forward… run to him… to explore and experience these new sensations he was making her feel. Then in the end, she decided that she didn't know how to feel. In that brief, anxious, perplexing moment of introspection, she considered the thought that she was probably going mad.

But it was only a brief moment…

Before her mind could conjure more of her self-doubt, it was easily overpowered as her husband led her to the age-old ritual of song and dance. The orchestral rustle of clothing amidst their pants and moans and sighs sang throughout the room like a melodious duet. There was an occasional odd misstep, or an awkward measure to disrupt their rhythm as punctuated by an intermittent nervous giggle. But all that was forgotten when instincts took over…

"Sophie fach… angel… cariad… **rwy'n dy garu di**…"

She couldn't understand the disjointed words he murmured in her ear, but her heart understood enough from the passion in his voice the meaning behind them. She knew that they could only be a resonance and reflection of what she had been feeling. Thus, Sophie simply let the sensations their song and dance was creating wash over her with pain, pleasure, uncertainty, comfort and unmistakable joy.

It came to the point where it started to feel overwhelming. The sensations were pulling at her from many directions at once. It was pushing her towards something unknown, against her will. For a moment or an eternity, she felt like she was going to drown or be pushed off a high cliff and fall, or both. She quickly realized that not even the power of words could save her. This feeling had even robbed her ability for words to form in her mind. All she could do was cry out her husband's name, as she clung to him tightly. Desperately hoping that he would somehow understand how frightened she was of what was happening. But not even his whispered murmurs of reassurance pacified her terror of the unknown.

"I… I… Howl!... falling…" She managed to cry out to him frantically, trying to make him understand

"Then fall," he whispered into her ear breathlessly. "I'll catch you."

Before she could protest, not that she could… or even want to… Her feelings pushed her to a place where light, sound, and sensation merged to magnitude proportions. It was beyond what her senses could handle. It seemed for one brief moment… or eternity… it felt as if the world stopped and she was going to step towards the verge of death… had it not for the comforting warmth that seemed to envelope her and pull her gently back to the ground.

It took a significant amount of time later, within a tangle of clothes, linen and sweaty limbs that the world started to move again. The haze misting Sophie's reasoning finally cleared enough for her to be able to form coherent thought. She turned to face the body still holding onto her with a sense of awe.

Howl smiled in reply and ran his fingers through her hair, "Are you all right?"

"I thought I died," Sophie replied in a tone as if she couldn't believe that she was still very much alive

"Well, that's one way of putting it!" Howl laughed. "Then I would assume that Mrs. Jenkins is quite satisfied?"

Sophie grinned impishly as she rolled on top of him and folded her arms on his chest so that they were looking at each other face to face. She put on a thoughtful expression as she ran small circles on his shoulder with her forefinger. "Well, I admit that the finale was quite spectacular. But there were sections near the beginning and the middle that were a little awkward."

"Is that so?" Howl replied in the same tone, one eyebrow arching in amusement, "And what does Mrs. Jenkins recommend to resolve that?"

Sophie snuggled against him until she found a comfortable position, resting her head underneath his chin before replying, "Practice, Mr. Jenkins. And lots and lots of it."

"Oh, woe… I think I've awakened a monster," Howl moaned theatrically as his fingers continued to play with his wife's long tresses, which spread about them like a blanket

"You've only got yourself to blame for it," Sophie retorted sulkily, "We would have had a head start months ago if it weren't for your delays."

"Blame me for thinking about you…" Howl replied huffily, "Not that it matters now. But I simply made a promise to myself to postpone this until I'd given you a proper wedding."

Sophie raised her head and gave him a funny look, "A wedding? But we already had one."

"No offense, cariad. But that ritual was imposed on us by a group of Mad Hatters, who don't know when not to keep their long noses out of other people's business. I only went along with it because it seemed to be the only way for me to keep you," Howl explained with dramatic flourish, "I wanted to give you a real wedding. The stuff in traditional fairy tales that every woman dreams of at the conclusion of every story … you know… with the poofy dress, the bridesmaids, the flowers and the cake…"

"Whatever gave you the idea that's what every woman dreams of?" This time, it was Sophie who fell into a peal of amused giggles as she stared at her husband in disbelief. "I don't want any of that. Everything I could ever want is right here." She emphasized her point by giving her husband an affectionate peck on his lips before continuing with a warm smile. "Besides, I think our story has already broken every fairy tale tradition. What's the problem with breaking one more?"

Howl smiled back as he reached out to capture her lips for another kiss. Sophie felt her pulse immediately quicken, feeling the electricity from his fingers as they released the nape of her neck to run along the contours of her shoulders and down the small of her back. Then he pulled away as if a thought suddenly occurred to him. Sophie couldn't help letting out a sigh of annoyance as he moved. She disentangled herself from his arms, but was determined not to let him slither out again and made her point by straddling his lap.

Howl didn't seem to disapprove or even notice her intentions. He closed one hand into a loose fist between them, then looked up at her, as if to make sure she was watching, "Before anything else, there's one tradition that I'm afraid that we can't skip."

"All right…" Sophie gave in. She looked down at his hand curiously, her nosiness getting the better of her.

Howl opened his fist to reveal a ring in his palm. Sophie gasped upon seeing it. It was an intricately carved silver band. It looked very old, though it didn't look particularly valuable. But there was a particular aura around it that even a person who wasn't gifted with magical talents could tell that it held a history that even all the currencies in the King of Ingary's treasury could never match.

"It was my great grandmother's," Howl stated, as if to confirm Sophie's thoughts, "My great grandfather made it and gave it to her as a promise ring. Then he answered the call of king and country during the First Great War. My great grandmother gave it back to him as a talisman so that he would return safely. Family legend has it that he accidentally dropped it one fateful day and got shot in the arse. Well, at least it got him shipped home."

If Sophie wasn't on the verge of bursting into tears, she probably would have laughed. But knowing how her tears upset her husband, she simply nodded and concentrated on holding back the dam threatening to burst from her eyes.

"Since then my great grandmother gave this ring to my grandfather for him to give to his bride, and my grandmother to my father to give to my mother…" Howl paused as an unreadable expression crossed his face, before continuing. "Before my mother died, she sent it to my grandmother for safekeeping… so that I could give this to you."

Sophie could only swallow the painful lump in her throat as she looked back at her husband's gaze.

He lowered his eyes, looking a bit embarrassed, "This wasn't exactly how I was planning on giving this to you. There was just never a good opportunity and I kept messing up that poem…"

"Poem?" Sophie asked hoarsely

"One of my mother's favourite poems, my father read it to her when he proposed," Howl explained, looking a little sheepish, "I have to change it a bit to fit…"

"Let's hear it," Sophie whispered

Howl gave her nervous smile as he took her right hand with his free hand. He kissed it before slipping the ring on her finger, _"And you, Sophie…_

_…what should I give you?  
__So many things I would give you  
__Had I an infinite great store  
__Offered me and stood before  
__To choose. I would give you youth  
__All kinds of loveliness and truth,  
__A clear eye as good as mine,  
__Lands, waters, flowers, wine,  
__As many children as your heart  
__Might wish for, a far better art  
__Than mine can be, all you have lost  
__Upon the traveling waters tossed,  
__Or given to me. If I could choose  
__Freely in that great treasure-house  
__Anything from any shelf,  
__I would give you back yourself,  
__And power to discriminate  
__What you want and want it not too late,  
__Many fair days free from care  
__And heart to enjoy both foul and fair,  
__And myself, too, if I could find  
__Where it lay hidden and it proved kind."_

Sophie sat there and stared back into the deep green pool of his eyes as if he held her in a trance. Howl's words echoed in her head against the loud hammering in her chest. A number of visions ran through her mind's eye… All the trials they'd endured together, their arguments, and their endearing moments. Visions of their children yet to be born with the two of them together watching them grow up. The two of them watching each other grow old…

Her husband's finger brushing against her cheek brought her thoughts back to reality, and it was only then that she realized with great embarrassment that she wasn't able to stop herself from crying. Though this time around, he didn't seem to be overly upset to see her tears. "I know it's a bit silly asking this now. But will you have me, Sophie?"

He was looking at her, expecting to hear her answer. But Sophie found that her throat had closed up painfully and refused to release her voice. So she answered the only way she could at the given situation… She wrapped her arms around his neck and started kissing him with such passion that he had to take her by the shoulders to gently push her away so that he could come up for breath.

"I would take that as a 'yes'," Howl gasped

"Yes," Sophie replied, finally finding her voice, "yes forever and ever and ever and ever!"

Howl smiled again and bent down, proceeding to a shower a downward trail of kisses on her jaw to her neck.

"I think I like your father, he had a very good taste in poems," Sophie commented idly as she closed her eyes at the sensations her husband was creating. "I would have liked to have met him."

"You probably will, eventually." Howl stopped and snorted, not hiding his annoyance, "Megan receives the odd postcard from him now and then. But no one's really seen the old coot since he retired and set off to travel and find himself… whatever that means."

Sophie blinked in surprise. From the way Howl spoke about him earlier, she had assumed that her father-in-law had gone the same way as Howl's mother. It was only then that she remembered what Calcifer said about her husband still having a number of unresolved issues. She couldn't help feeling a bit intrigued. Her husband's family situation was making Fanny's nosiness a rose in a field. "You have a very odd family."

"And I don't feel like thinking about them when there are other things that I'd rather be doing right now," Howl whispered lewdly as he gently nudged her legs to wrap them around his hips

Sophie flushed in embarrassment, but she managed to flash him a mischievous smile, "Does Mr. Jenkins wish to go over and practice the awkward sections?"

"Practice is the only way to master it, cariad. I'm a perfectionist, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to subject you to lots of it," Howl sighed mournfully, as he rolled over her. She complied with a lot of self-conscious giggling as he bent over her lovingly. "Lots and lots of it."

The End!  
(Yay!)

* * *

Author's squawk:

Just a quick reference note… the poem Howl played around the words with is originally titled, "And You, Helen" by Edward Thomas. It was stolen from "The Oxford Book of Welsh Verse in English" (1977). It's a very kewl book. I specially loved the medieval poets who delved on courtly love… they're a bunch of horny bastards and I was thoroughly entertained by their honesty. A nice contrast from the usual "Long live insert ancient Welsh-speaking King here and kill all the invading English bastards!" poems from the period.

Okay… this is the tame version of this chapter. I really thought very hard about posting this before I finished the "untamed" version. But after staring blankly at an empty computer monitor for several weeks, I knew I had to post this version as soon as Mimea (thank you for your patience! I love you! .) finished editing it 'cause I'll probably never get around to finishing the untamed version at this rate. I will post the smut in adultfanfiction-dot-net and mediaminer-dot-org… eventually. I'm kinda inexperienced with writing this genre… while I can easily discreetly allude to it, writing a graphic version kinda overwhelms me… When I'm overwhelmed, I have the tendency to escape from the task by falling asleep… I know, weird!

Anywayz, just check out those two archives periodically to find out if I finally posted the "adult-only" version… until then, comments and criticisms will be gladly accepted via the review button…

Ja!  
Ina-chan


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